This past week, we put our family cat, Licorice, to sleep. She was approximately 13 years old. Technically, Licorice belonged to our son. We gave her to him when he celebrated his First Communion. I can still see him and his toothless grin carrying her around the house.

He’s about to start his senior year of college and it seemed only appropriate that he was with me when I had to rush her to the vet the other day. She’d been in steady decline for the past several months and we both knew the end was near. As we made the decision to end her suffering, I worried about how he would handle it. I knew that he was no longer closely attached to Licorice, due to distance and a late-developing allergy. Still, this was HIS cat. They used to sit next to each other while he ate breakfast.

In the end, I shed enough tears for two. Apparently, I was the one that was really attached. He stood by and gently patted me on the back while I sniffled and signed the final documents. I have to say that I was sort of surprised by his lack of emotion.

Now our house is down to one pet - an overbearing but loveable Golden Retriever named Millie who, technically, belongs to our daughter. We added Millie to our family at a time when our daughter was obsessed with dogs. She begged for a puppy. The timing seemed right. She was just starting middle school, her social life was a series of ups and downs and perhaps a pet would teach her responsibility and give her a more dependable buddy. What it did was basically add another “being” for me to care for. Sort of like a child, but hairier.

I’m sure it’s my fault and I’m sure that most of you have handled kids and pets better than I did, but somehow, our best intentions of pet ownership went awry. I had visions, a la Timmy and Lassie, (yes, I’m that old) of my kids and their pets, cuddling and bonding and taking care of each other. Instead, I gained another dependant and my daily list of chores got a little longer. But like many parenting issues, we pick and choose our battles. I got used to daily feedings and walks and cleaning up and trips to the vet. It’s just what I did and I liked how I did it.

Apparently in the end, I became more attached than anybody. When my husband turned off the laundry room light – the small fluorescent bulb that has literally been burning for 10 years above Licorice’s food, water and litter box, I again felt the pang of loss.

Suddenly, Millie, who is definitely a handful, is more endearing than ever. The dog, who leaves her hair everywhere and is obsessed with carrying dirty socks in her mouth, seems so precious and sweet. Funny how that happens.

I figured out what it is that makes family pets seem so appealing to parents, especially those of us with older children. It’s unconditional love. I just say Millie’s name and her tale starts wagging. I haven’t gotten a reaction like that from my kids in years.

I hate to scare you parents of young kids, but there comes a time when your kids won’t like you. I know – they adore you now and can’t get enough of you. Someday, that will go away…at least for a little while. And when that happens, a wagging tail, a rumbling purr or a big, sloppy kiss makes it all a little more bearable.