The other day, I had an argument with my daughter about her college credits. Here’s the thing – she’s a junior in high school. The argument started when she was trying to figure out her senior year class schedule…during the first week of the second semester of junior year. Here’s how the argument went:

Her:  Mom, I’m trying to decide if I should take AP (Advanced Placement) U.S. History AND AP English.

Me:  Well, keep in mind that senior year can be pretty stressful with college applications and such. Are you sure you can handle TWO AP classes?

Her:  Oh my God, mom, you just don’t want me to take AP Classes! I’m trying to get some college credits out of the way before I get there!

That stopped me in my tracks. My daughter was already worried about completing college credits before she had even chosen a college. What are we doing to our kids? Why is this scenario even on their horizons? What is wrong with high school students being, um, high school students?

Here’s my question: What’s the hurry? Why are we in such a rush for our kids to grow up? At what point do they get to be kids? What’s next? Pre-Occupational Skills Classes in 5K? ACT/SAT Prep Sessions for First Graders? Huh, I wonder why kids today are so stressed out?

Oh and my daughter and I compromised. She chose one AP class instead of two, thereby giving her time to pursue her love of musical theatre, something she will eventually study…in college.

August is almost over and people are packing the store aisles looking for that last pack of #2 pencils. Parents are gleefully anticipating the return to scheduled days and kids are looking glum knowing that homework is just around the corner. Yes folks, it’s back-to-school time. As your friendly neighborhood blogger, I thought I’d dole out a little parent-to-parent advice about school that I’ve gleaned over the past two decades.

It’s time to let go. A couple of years ago, I saw an Oprah Winfrey show where she had moms who were having a hard time watching their children go off to college. Some of them were a little pathetic doing things like renting apartments near their campus in case their child needed them. Another woman was virtually suicidal over her kids heading off to kindergarten. That’s right – kindergarten. I remember vowing never to be that way. And except for a few tears, I’ve done OK. My point here is that when it’s time, let go. Your kid will survive and so will you. If your child going to school is the low point of your life, then it’s time to find a hobby.

Don’t be a helicopter parent. I admit it. I’ve been there and I’ve done that. I’ve micromanaged elements of my kids’ lives figuring that I could save all of us time and effort and they’d be eternally grateful. It has never worked out. My kids didn’t appreciate it, didn’t learn anything at all and ultimately blamed me when it didn’t work out. My advice is this: Take them to school and then leave. These people are professionals. Trust them.

Give the teacher the benefit of the doubt. Back in the days when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was in grade school, teachers were up there next to God. If I came home and told my parents that I received a detention for something, I was in HUGE trouble and could expect to be grounded…for life. Today, some parents feel compelled to question the teacher when their child has been disciplined. If this is you – don’t. Know that teachers have experience and are just trying to do their jobs. (For very little pay, I might add.) Will the punishment always be fair? No. But then life isn’t either. Do your child a favor and let them learn this lesson. Trust me. They’ll survive.

Go to the source. There will be times when you have a question about a class or a subject or an assignment or a project. You may even have a valid complaint. You’ve tried getting answers from your child but he can’t even find last week’s permission slip. Then it’s time to go to the teacher. Not other parents on the playground or the principal. The teacher. Be polite and respectful and give them the first opportunity to address your concerns. You might get an entirely different perspective on the matter.

Let them fail. In this day and age of prodigies and test scores and uber-tots that have genius-level IQs, parents have gotten the idea that perfection is the goal. That a bad grade ruins all chances for future greatness. And so they meddle and interfere and do everything within their power to make sure their child never falters or stumbles or makes a mistake. That, in and of itself, is a mistake. The goal is to learn which you cannot do if you don’t, at some point, fail. And that’s OK.

Think back to your own memories of school. Some were good and some were bad, right? Some of your teachers changed your life and some, well, let’s just say they gave you great stories to share at reunions. Nevertheless, you survived and so will your child. Advocate but don’t smother. But feel free to bring along a tissue to get you through that first day.

I’m currently in this really fascinating time of life. Thanks to kids and personal interests, my friends are between the ages of mid-twenties to early fifties. Some have tiny tots and others, like me, have grown or almost grown kids.

Universally, what is shared by all of these differently aged women – “momographics,” if you will – is that back-to-school is THE most stressful time of the year.

In the past week, I have had untold number of conversations about meetings, registrations, textbooks, open houses, homerooms, forms to fill out, things to sign up for, volunteering, carpools, school photos…! And along with school comes the dizzying array of extra-curricular activities. It’s enough to make anybody’s head spin.

The other thing about this time of year is that it’s very emotional for women. (Sure, it’s sexist, but I have yet to see a teary-eyed dad standing in the school parking lot.) Some of us very reluctantly send our kids off to college or perhaps kindergarten for the first time. Others are planning that first-day-of-school party to celebrate getting back a bit of “me” time.

No matter what time of life this is for you – teeny babies or college co-eds – there’s only one way to keep your wits about you – organization. Seriously, if you don’t have mad organizational skills, you’ll go insane. I vividly remember creating a staging area on my dining room table in the days leading up to the start of school. I’d have piles for each kid with signatures and checks attached to what seemed like millions of forms.

Now my organizational skills are needed mostly to drag people out of bed and sometimes shove them out the door on time. I try really hard to squelch the control freak in me by letting them tell me what they need. More times than not, I can’t help myself. I hate to admit it, but in the back of my head it’s because I feel like a forgotten form or check will reflect badly on my parenting skills. As my husband often says to me: “It’s all about you, isn’t it?” Ouch.

What about you? How are you feeling about back-to-school? Weepy or joyous? What drives you crazy about getting back into the old routine? If you had power, what would you change about this time of year?