When my husband was in high school, he was the starting center for his school’s football team. He sometimes laughs about the fact that his parents almost never saw him play. They certainly never went to his practices. Having known his parents for more than half my life, I can assure you that they were and are terrific people who loved their nine children very much. But back then, in the mid-70s, kids’ sports were exactly that – KIDS’ sports.
Today, everything is different. A child doesn’t participate in a sport without a complete commitment on the part of his or her parents. COMPLETE. Suffice it to say that if your kid is in Select Soccer, YOU’RE in Select Soccer.
How did we get here? When did we get so over-the-top about kids’ sports?
Although my own kids were never very athletic, they played their share of sports. I have spent plenty of time in bleachers and on the sidelines watching them run up and down a field or a court. Those days were sometimes fun, sometimes exciting, sometimes frustrating and often exhausting. We’ve driven as far as Waukesha to see them play, and that was just during grade school. To be honest, I’m thankful they never qualified for a traveling team.
I have plenty of friends whose children play sports at various levels and their universal feeling is that there is no easy or casual way for a kid today to participate in a sport. And if their child is athletically gifted, it makes it all the more complicated.
These friends tell stories about juggling carpools and schedules and their other children so that one of their kids can fulfill their obligation to a team. They eat in their cars in-between practices. The kids get tired and weepy and difficult and neither the kids nor the parents know how to stop the madness.
We want our kids to be well-rounded. We tell them to try different things but we should consider the implications of that advice.
If a child is in multiple activities, they could easily be “booked” every day of the week. If that child has siblings and those siblings also participate in sports, things can get absolutely crazy for that family. It’s a veritable treadmill that’s nearly impossible to stop.
And there are other issues: Where does schoolwork fit into an athletic family? And what about injuries from year-round playing and training? How can the average family afford the various fees and equipment associated with a sport? Do the kids really enjoy it or are they just trying to live out the expectations of their parents?
I admit, I have no answers, but based on the conversations I’ve had with parents, they’re concerned about the toll that sports take on their kids and their families. They seem anxious to vent about the nightmarish schedules and the endless miles they put on their minivans.
What do you think? Do your kids participate in sports? Are they enjoying it? Are YOU? I’d love to hear from those of you in the trenches.
