You have to hand it to infants. They’ve figured it out. It’s all about them and, most importantly, they actually get to act their age. What about six year-olds, you’re asking? Or seven or eight year-olds? Nope, not them. They already have to worry about what will happen when they’re twelve. And fifteen year-olds? Well, they have to worry about what to do for the rest of their lives.
What the heck am I talking about? It’s my latest gripe. I call it: “When do kids get to be kids?”
Through the years, I’ve encountered it here and there. Mild concerns about how old my kids were when they walked. Were their vocabularies broad enough? Will their skills and talents be enough to carry them to the next level?
But recently, it really hit me hard. I have a second child going through the rigors of high school. Folks, let me tell you, the days of enjoying high school are SO yesterday. The typical high school student isn’t hanging out at the soda shop after school, socializing with his or her friends. They’re scheduled from dawn till dark, filling out that high school resume.
Today high school academics are all about AP Classes, as in Advanced Placement. Ask any above-average high school student and they’ll tell you. Either they, or their parents, are worried about taking and doing well in Advanced Placement Classes which potentially earn them college credits. In other words, high school kids are starting college in high school. Is it so wrong to just be an average student?
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not against bright and talented kids. I think every child has the right to take as many high level classes they can in order to remain challenged. But nowadays, we’re expecting that from EVERY kid. I’ve sat through parent meetings where parents have actually asked why their kids can’t take THREE AP classes in the same semester. Seriously.
To me, this begs the question: When do our kids just get to be where they are and act their age? When do they get to enjoy life?
And it’s not just high school. It starts in grade school where parents obsess about sending their kids to the right school and then “helicopter parent” their kids’ academics until the teachers aren’t sure whether they’re teaching the children or their parents.
It starts in athletics with select sports and getting on the right club team in order to be considered for scholarships or even just to try out for their own school’s team. It starts in the performing arts where kids have to have THE right teacher and be in THE right program so they can eventually perform at the highest level.
In this day and age of living vicariously through our children, we’ve somehow stolen their right to let them be themselves and discover their passions the old-fashioned way – through trial and error. Through failures and the rare success. Instead, we’re going out of our way to insure success.
Which brings me back to babies. Although we try, babies are relatively immune to our attempts to make them do anything faster than they’re able. Sure, you can sign them up for classes, you can practice with them hourly, but if they’re not ready to sit up or crawl or sleep through the night or be potty trained, they’re not going to do it. And that’s OK. And that’s the way it should be…for all kids.
