I wrote a story last year for the Journal Sentinel about what parents of kids with disabilities do to stay physically strong and I interviewed several parents about their workout habits. These parents biked, lifted weights, did yoga and pilates all in an effort to get and stay strong so that they would be ready to care for their children with disabilities both physically and mentally. This summer I hit a physical wall and the time has come for me to take their advice.
One of the realities of raising a child with a physical disability is that at some point that child will grow big enough that he will be difficult to move, if at all. At almost 14 years old, Andrew has indeed grown quite tall and when he is standing comes up to the bridge of my nose. I have always been strong enough to move him if necessary and have never really needed or wanted help. Andrew is more than fairly independent and can mostly transfer himself, unless he has the flu or like this weekend when we were literally stuck in the pool. Andrew was too cold, wet and tired from swimming to stand or walk up the steps and I was having a difficult time moving his frame up and out of the pool. The world is full of helpful people however, and as much as I didn't want help, I needed it and reluctantly accepted it from a man who was at the pool with his granddaughters. As Andrew said, "A grandpa to the rescue!" He grabbed one arm and I grabbed the other and with Andrew's help, we slowly got out of the pool and into his wheelchair. After thanking him profusely, he told me that he helps his son, who is a priest, at several camps for kids with disabilities and that it is okay to ask for help. In raising Andrew, I have always known this day would come - when I would not be able to move him on my own. What I didn't bargain for, was how it would make me feel - and I really hate to say this - sort of helpless. So I will take the advice of those strong parents that I interviewed and hit the gym along with Andrew, so that both of us will be strong enough to physically and emotionally to move through life. Oh, and ask for help when we need it. How do you transfer your children? What do you do to get and stay strong?
