It’s 2 a.m. and cries from the room next door begin again for the third time tonight. You have tried everything but nothing seems to work. You are at the end of your rope and pleading for just a few moments of sleep before you have to begin another long, stressful day. Will the crying ever stop?
Crying is a normal part of an infant’s everyday life. In fact, most infants cry two to three hours every day as a way to communicate with their caregivers. Up to 30 percent of otherwise healthy infants cry even more, a condition often called colic. In contrast, some babies cry much less than two to three hours a day. Many infants cry because they are hungry, sick, hot, cold, tired, in pain or in need of a diaper change. Sometimes, infants cry even though all of their needs have been met.
It is common for parents and caregivers to become frustrated, angry or feel inadequate when caring for a crying infant. These negative feelings often intensify during times of stress or if a parent or caregiver tries unsuccessfully to comfort a crying child. While frustration is a normal emotion for caregivers to experience, it is important to manage this frustration in a healthy and safe way.
Here are a few tips to help you keep your cool when the crying just won’t stop:
- Put the child in a safe, secure place, such as a crib, and leave the room. Give yourself space to cool down, but never leave the child unattended.
- Pick up the phone and call a friend, neighbor, relative or parent helpline. In many cases, these people will be willing to come to your home and offer assistance. If that is not the case, just talking to another adult can help calm your nerves.
- Walk with or carry the child to a trusted neighbor’s home and ask for help.
For the safety of your child, it always is important to monitor his or her caregivers. If you know someone who has difficulty managing anger or who handles children roughly, do not put your child in his or her care. If your caregiver reports excessive frustration with your child or an inability to deal with your infant’s crying, listen and make other arrangements for your child’s care.
A searchable directory of community-based resources for families is available on the Child Abuse Prevention Fund’s Web site at www.capfund.org.
FAST FACT: Children's Hospital of Wisconsin has seen an alarming record number (28) of cases of shaken baby syndrome this year. If you know a new parent who is tired or stressed, please share this information with them and help them find support. Shaken baby syndrome is devastating and can be avoided.
Lynn K. Sheets, MD, is the medical director of Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin’s Child Protection Center.