"Can I have a Tootsie Pop, please?" came the request from below the counter. I could barely see the owner of the voice, but standing on my tiptoes I did see a pink and red stocking hat and figured that a young someone, with manners, was ready to purchase a sweet treat from the concession stand at the hockey rink. "What flavor would you like?" I replied. "What kind do you have, please?" I responded, "Chocolate, raspberry, cherry, orange, and grape." "Raspberry is my favorite so that's what I'll have, please." "That will be twenty-five cents, please." "My mom gave me one quarter - is that enough?" "That sure is - here's your treat and enjoy it." "I will. Thank you!"
As a high school teacher, for many years I've thought that the words "Please" and "Thank you!" were no longer part of the English language. Entitlement rules the day where I teach - "Give me ......" or "You have to do ......." or "$@&& off!" when a student is told they can't do this or that, or that an assignment can no longer be accepted because it's well beyond the due date. It gets quite disheartening to have that kind of disrespect thrown at you day after day. And then when you meet the parents or speak with them on the phone, you realize very quickly that our students are their parents' children. And I always ask myself, "Can people tell that our son and daughter are our children?"
Spending the weekend behind the concession stand has convinced me that the art of good manners, saying "Please!" and "Thank you!", waiting in line, using a friendly voice to make a request, not believing you're entitled to this or that, is alive and well. There must still be parents out there who believe that it's important to instill good manners in their children. I learned from an early age that you attract more flies with honey than you do f with vinegar. I also learned from my parents that good manners weren't just a ploy to get what you want. Good manners were to be an intrinsic quality - you just naturally treated people with respect, even if you didn't get what you needed in that particular moment.
Our son and daughter have been brought up the same way. "Please" is frequently heard, even at the dinner table. "Thank you!" is said on the trip home after every hockey game, every night out for dinner, music concert that is attended, or after receiving a compliment from strangers on appearance and manners. They are also learning that while it's important to let management know that customer service in a business establishment may not of been of superior quality, it's equally important to let the management know when an employee has gone above what is expected. Try making a phone call to management when you're ready to file a compliment - it's a pretty interesting experience because many business owners or managers have been conditioned to assume the worst. Try it once - you'll see what I mean.
It is our responsibility, as parents, to make sure our children are polite and have manners. In some respects this is a dying art and that's unfortunate. Because one child comes from money, or is caucasian, or has a mom and a dad, does not mean they have a ticket to free entitlement. All children - rich and poor, black, white, Native American, Asian, Hispanic, raised by a single parent or gay or straight parents, need to learn the art of manners and being polite. Ask Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners - she says the same thing. Let's try to be renaissance parents and bring back the art of manners. Please!! Thank you!!!!!
