I didn't even realize it when I was in it, but it turns out I had it pretty great for awhile. For a few blissful years, I rarely thought about sleep.
For most of us, it is the birth of our first child that makes us realize just how precious sleep is and exactly what its purpose is. Doctors may tell you stuff about how sleep is important for recharging your batteries, cell growth and yada yada, but we all know the real reason for sleep.
We sleep because we don't want to burst into tears at the grocery store when our exhausted brains can't handle so many yogurt choices. We sleep because we have to operate cars and remember that today is Wear Red for School Spirit! day and cut really little rectangles off the top of cereal boxes to raise money for our schools. We sleep because without that rest, we might actually live out the
dream in which we throttle our husbands for no better
reason than forgetting to replace the toilet paper roll.
My first was born nearly 13 years ago, my second nearly 10 years ago. That means that from 1996 until approximately 2003, my sleep deprivation levels ranged from dangerously low to spotty with a chance of incoherent mumbling.
But by the time my son was 4, we were kind of in our groove. Everybody slept for the most part, and if there was anything to gripe about, it was the early wakeup times. Anytime after 5:30 a.m. was not out of the realm of possibility, and even though the kids could get up and play for a bit before my husband and I got out of bed once they were out of the very little stage, just the morning noises were enough to wake me for good. If the kids were up, I was up.
I have no one but myself to blame that I said this out loud on more than one occasion: I wish my kids would sleep a little later.
Yep, I said it. I admit it; I did. Following the theory that you always want what you don't have, I said it. My kids went to bed great and slept the whole night. The only thing they did "wrong" was wake up too early for my tastes.
Turns out I should have just learned to like the flavor of early because I'm paying for that wish now.
In just the past few months, my kids -- both of them, to boot -- have decided that they do like sleeping in after all. However, they aren't interested in my plan, which offers them extended sleep-in hours on weekends but a more conventional schedule on weekdays. Nope, they want the unlimited plan with all the options, including the later wakeup time, even on weekdays.
I have tried to explain that this plan is not available in our area at this time, but they are not interested. The other problem is that they have gotten bigger. When they were little and wouldn't sleep, they might tuck into bed with us and nod off in just a few minutes.
Now it's the reverse: I'm trying to haul them out from under layers of fuzzy, warm blankets before they can grab the blankets back because the last thing I want to do is engage in a tug-of-war with my 9-year-old at 6:30 in the morning -- and lose. Add humiliation to annoyance and you've got a powerfully ugly combo playing out before "The Today Show" even starts.
So I'm kicking myself a little right now. I spent years "training" my kids to be good sleepers and the kick in the pants of it all is that they're rewarding me by actually doing it.