March 6, 2009

Dear Girl Scouts of America:

As a young girl, I greatly enjoyed your organization. As an adult, I think we need to talk. And yes, it's about the cookies.

You might think I am writing this letter to complain about the fact that there are fewer Thin Mints in each sleeve this year and that all the boxes -- and cookie sizes, it seems -- have gotten smaller.

Not so.

I am writing to talk to you about the timing of your cookie deliveries in the Milwaukee area. I don't know if you do this intentionally, but cookie sales start in January, which is a time when we in Milwaukee are all particularly vulnerable. Typically at this point, we have been knee deep into winter for at least six weeks. Life looks and feels as gray as a car crusted in salt and snow splatter.  

Then your cookie order forms arrive and they're all colored with the pastel yellows and greens of spring and it just does something to our addled brains. We grab all the forms we can find, neatly filling in the number of desired boxes in the colored rows and yes, we dream of spring and better days ahead. Like when the cookies will arrive.

And then, weeks later, much like the first buds of spring, the cookies do arrive. Only around here, it isn't spring yet, so the cookies replace the budding flowers. Which we then eat not by the cookie, but by the box.

Might I add that we are also particularly vulnerable at this time? Because now winter's dragged on for several months and it's still gray outside and swimsuit season is at least three months away for us (if we're lucky). So one-two-three-four, whatever, the whole row, of cookies don't seem like such a bad idea right now. We've got time to lose the weight, right?

Then we start acting like it's New Year's Day every day, resolving that today won't be like yesterday. We won't replace two out of three meals with Girl Scout cookies. We won't. Really. Maybe.

Dang it. There are just so many of them and they're everywhere.

Don't mistake my message here. We want to support your mission. You do good things for girls across the nation, and in that, we totally support you.

How about showing the love back by changing our cookie season to early fall? The fall leaves will give your colorful order form a run for its money, and then the cookies themselves would arrive at the beginning of winter and would become just another part of holiday overeating -- all to be completed by January.

Give it some thought. We'd really appreciate it. Thanks!

Sincerely,

Jeanne Wieland