Not much rattles me these days, but I'm a ball of nervous irrational energy today.
It’s my daughter’s first day of day care.
I stayed home with Anika for 6 weeks, then went back to work part-time, then full-time. I worked days and Nate worked nights, so we have been fortunate that she was always with a parent.
Realistically, I have little to complain about. We are fortunate to have a long relationship with a trusted day care professional, who was able to fit Anika into her great environment. We are fortunate that Anika got to spend the days bonding with her father for her first year. I’m excited for Anika to meet, socialize and play with other children. I’m happy she is in a small environment where she will get a lot of individual attention.
But I still have that feeling in my stomach. Not a gut feeling that something is wrong, just a feeling that is … mom nerves, I guess.
I know in my gut that Anika will do great in a day care environment. She loves other children and of course, loves to play. We spent a little time at the center to get her prepared. When we left together, she fussed!
This morning as we walked up the steps, she giggled. And she didn’t cry when I left, (which is a completely new phase in the last few weeks).
What am I nervous about? I can’t put a finger on it. Why can’t I put a finger on it? Because there is no logical reason to be nervous. (Mothers don’t have to be logical when it comes to their children, right?)
This afternoon I called the day care center, just to make sure that Anika wasn’t in the midst of a crying fit, missing her parents or unhappy in an unknown place with new people. Before I heard a hello, I heard Anika’s giggles in the background.
Yep, she is fine, just like I knew she would be. I didn’t even have to ask.
I called Nate to see if he was as nervous as me. It’s his day off and he went to the Brewers game, alone and without the hassle of a bringing a diaper bag. I should take a lesson from him sometimes.
The mom nerves have yet again got the best of me. I think I may never be comfortable and calm without my daughter in my arms – or at least in direct view. And until that day comes, I will still unreasonably count the minutes until I can pick her up.
