Tales from the Crib

Ending 2008 with random kindness

Rebecca Christman — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 20:39:24 GMT

Here's the scene right before the holidays: The kids were terribly sick, Nate and I also picked up the worst flu in the history of flus, nobody had slept in days, papers were piling up on my desk and EVERYONE was beyond cranky.

We trekked to the doctor’s office and left with numerous prescriptions for all and headed to the pharmacy. There our agonizing 20-minute wait
began.

As we waited, we walked through the aisles to pick up a few small items in hopes of brightening our spirits. The kids picked fruit snacks and stickers and I opted for several products boasting promises to cover the black circles under my eyes.

We approached the checkout counter with $100 of prescriptions and treats, and the woman behind the counter said she had a coupon for my cosmetics. I told her I had already read the store flyer and, sadly, there was no coupon. Then, she pulled out a small box of coupons, organized and labeled, and explained they are from the Sunday paper. Huh? She continued to say that she likes to cut coupons and share them, sort of like a hobby.

I am used to paying more for convenience. I have honestly spent more than five dollars for a gallon of milk at a gas station just because I did not have time to make run one more errand. And here is a woman who cuts coupons from the paper for other people as a hobby?

That coupon saved me two bucks on my total bill. This savings may not sound like a big deal in most people’s world. However, that day at that moment, it was like winning the lottery. We left the pharmacy with medications, fruit snacks, stickers and cover-up products in hand. But thanks to the random kindness of this woman, we left with more than that. We left with a belief that we WOULD heal, we WOULD be healthy again, we WOULD sleep through the night once more, and my complexion WOULD return to the normal .

This inspiration made me promise to myself that, in 2009, no matter how small the deed, I would “pay it forward”— hopefully to a mom with puffy eyes and a few sick kids behind her.

Three days

Rebecca Christman — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 22:00:00 GMT

Our family took 3 days to adjust to daylight savings time. I was hoping it would be longer.

I thought casual smooth mornings were a myth. For two days I knew what it felt like to get up and watch a little of the news before crawling out of bed. I knew what it felt like to get kids to daycare/school on time and without tantrums.

Monday was great. Everyone was up early, made it to daycare/school on time and in a relaxed fashion. The girls and I read a book before we left. Everyone was dressed and ready to go —minutes before we had to leave. After dropping everyone off, I had time to stop at my favorite drive-thru coffee shop for a coffee. 70 degree weather aside, the barista and I decided it was the best Monday ever in the history of Mondays.

On Tuesday, I felt I could sustain this new system. Nate and I had easily been up at 5:30 a.m. for two whole days, before the alarms ring. We watch a little of the morning news, take a minute to talk to each other other before the kids wake up. Yes, it has been a relaxed two days. I'm ready to commit to this new schedule.

Today is Wednesday. And things went back to normal. Anika (13 months) went sleep early and woke up at her classic hour of 1 a.m., insistent that we play peek-a-boo for approximately 60 minutes. Attempting to sleep in as the sun came up, I intended to snooze the alarm, but not before Mia (4 1/2) woke up early and crawled in bed with us and reminded us it was "morningtime."

Then we were all awake, tired and cranky and struggling to start the day. Time to leave rolled around and it was tantrum city as Mia could not find the shoes she wanted to wear. What happened to our two relaxed mornings? We were all late today.

Perhaps with a little determination I can achieve them again one day. Then again, maybe I'll just dream about it as I snooze the alarm one more time.

If you are enjoying the time change and find yourself with some extra time on your hands, take advantage of it and do a little shopping:

Check out Fred's new line of fab fall wear at www.fredboutique.com.

Special to MilwaukeMoms blog readers: Mention code "metro08" for 20% savings on regular priced items at Fred (524 N. Water) from now until December 31, 2008 on www.fredboutique.com (this code can also be mentioned in store).

metroparent on the Morning Blend

Rebecca Christman — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 19:05:00 GMT

Today I was on the Morning Blend talking about what to do when you don't like your child's teacher. I never knew how relevant a topic this was until
everyone started telling me their stories about their kid's teachers.

It makes sense. We all know what it's like. I will never forget how my 5th grade teacher treated me unfairly. Turns out my mom felt that way too, but I never knew. That's one of our tips: do not share your negative opinions with your child. Not only do kids repeat everything, but it could unintentionally encourage bad behavior.

To see the whole segment, go to www.themorningblend.com. If you want more tips from the October article, read metroparent online at MilwaukeeMoms.com or in print at a nearby newsstand and check out the Dear Teacher Q/A column.

I'm still not used to seeing myself on TV, but the kids think I'm a true TV star. After watching the segment, I find it weird to hear my own voice, which sounds nothing like I think it does. When I was in college, people often told me I had a good soothing radio voice, so it must not be all that bad.

But one thing I didn't have to worry about was my clothes. That's the hardest part about going on TV - deciding what to wear.

To get ready for the segment, aside from talking to many parents and educators, I was styled by Fred Boutique (524 N. Water St.). What a treat that was! It's easy to fall into a clothing rut, especially as I chase after children! Talk about feeling like a TV star - the stylist was wonderful, gave me great style tips and I picked out a fabulous dress to wear.

It got me thinking about clothes, fashion, motherhood .... It's easy for me to live in my favorite jeans and black Ramones t-shirt, but whenever we leave the house I feel like everything I have is full of baby food stains or muddy dog pawprints. When I go shopping, I rarely look outside of the toddler sections. Well, no more of that! As much as I love buying toddler girl clothes, I'm looking forward to revamping my own closet!

Check out Fred's new line of fab fall wear at www.fredboutique.com.

Special to MilwaukeMoms blog readers: Mention code metro08 for 20% savings on regular priced items at Fred from now until December 31, 2008 on www.fredboutique.com (this code can also be mentioned in store).

An unexpected adventure

Rebecca Christman — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:15:00 GMT

When I came in to work today, I learned that I had an adventure yesterday. Or an "almost adventure."

In the afternoon, I went shopping for an upcoming photo shoot with our creative director, Lori.We perused the thrift store racks and found perfect clothes with even more perfect accesories. I had an idea in mind for a hat, but didn't find one. As we were checking out, this great hat appeared out of nowhere! It was fate. We were feeling pretty lucky and we checked out and sparked more ideas back and forth for upcoming metroparent covers.

As we left the building, got into the car, there was a backup of traffic. We couldn't get through. We waited. And waited. We saw a handful of policemen standing around and the road was being blocked off, but we didn't see any reason for it. "All this for a hit and run," I thought.

Turns out someone donated a box of items to the store, including a live grenade and smoke canister. And the police everywhere? Yep, that was the bomb squad, fire department and police officers.I read online that the police detonated the grenade in a field without incident.

WOW!!!! All the potential disasters ran through my head and today I'm feeling pretty lucky that none of them came to fruition. I came home, gave Nate and Anika big kisses, "just because." You really never know what's in store each day, so it's a damn good reminder to make the most of every day and not get held up by the little things that make us stress out and worry .

Next time I'm held up in traffic, instead of cursing under my breath, I'll take the extra minute to count my blessings!

Barbie OR Pumpkin Masters Giveaway!

Rebecca Christman — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:30:00 GMT

In my last blog, I wrote that the first people to e-mail me could win the "Barbie and the Diamond Castle" DVD.

Maybe you thought online giveaways would go too quickly. Maybe you're not feeling all that lucky. Maybe you thought you missed you're chance—but you didn't! So I just wanted to break the ice and say: You still have your chance! It's easy: E-mail me and I will actually send you a DVD!

In fact, in addition to my regular blog, I'll be tacking on some occasional giveaway opportunities. So keep reading. Hopefully you are doing that already and I will thank you for doing so with more giveaways.

I'll keep it simple. October is just around the corner and one of my favorite Autumn activities is pumpkin-carving. So the first people to e-mail me at rchristman@metroparentmagazine.com will receive either the Barbie and the Diamond Castle DVD or the Casket Case Pumpkin Carving Kit. Everything you need to carve a super scary pumpkin is included in this case: 7 patterns, 2 saws, 1 poker, 1 scoop scraper. Just let me know which you'd prefer.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Update: Thanks to everyone who emailed me, but the DVDs and carving kits have all been sent out. Keep reading for upcoming giveaways!

One year ago today ...

Rebecca Christman — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 23:51:00 GMT

My daughter Anika turned one this week. I go back and forth feeling like she just came home from the hospital yesterday, or that we've had her forever.

I've been nostalgic and sentimental; it's really been a great year. Not an easy year, but a great one. Every single day she surprises me with her discoveries, inspires me with her enthusiasm and warms my heart with her joyfulness.

All week I've found my self saying things like ... "One year ago today, I told work I'd be right back after my doctor's appointment."

Well, that was the day my doctor's assistant chased after me when I left the office, saying the doctor needed to see me right away. I was having some complications and they decided it was time to induce. I was hoping to grab a sandwich on the way back to the office. Actually, I figured since we were inducing I could go back to the office, go home pack a bag and Nate and I could get ready to have a baby in the morning. But they said I had to go right to Labor & Delivery, do not eat a thing, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

That was how it all started.

Speaking of beginnings ... I need some help cleaning of my desk, so the first 20 people to e-mail me at rchristman@metroparentmagazine.com will get a free DVD copy of "Barbie and The Diamond Castle."

Welcome to the world of a K4 teacher

Rebecca Christman — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 19:17:00 GMT

Today was Mia's first day of school in all-day K4.

I didn't have many expectations for the day, but I expected the morning to be rough, as everyone was supposed to get up earlier than usual. Then I pictured Nate and I walking Mia (4) and Anika (11 months) to school, meeting the teacher, saying hello and introducing ourselves. Then I'd leave to bring Anika to daycare and get myself to work—on time.

Every experienced parent of a school-age child is probably giggling at my novice right now.

After a hurried morning, we took the classic "first day" pictures and ended up driving to school (3 blocks) because we were running so late. I briefly met teacher, but there was little time for hellos as she shuffled 25 4-year-olds and their parents into the room, gave us a folder of paperwork and snapped our pictures for Mia's file.

Before I left for work with a baby in desperate need of a diaper change on the go, I gave the teacher our paperwork and a "good luck" as she calmly took control of the madhouse that was forming. I've always had tremendous respect for all educators out there but just realized today what a true fiasco the first day of school can be. I chuckled at myself for assuming there would be ample time for introduction and long chat. There will be time for that in the near future, I'm sure.

Right now, I'll just concern myself with getting everyone to daycare, school and work on time.

Luck is in the eye of the beholder

Rebecca Christman — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:38:00 GMT

As I walked away from my screaming daughter at daycare today, one of the other moms looked at me and said, "You're so lucky, my son runs away when I come to pick him up at the end of the day."

The last two days have been the worst yet—for me. The screaming unwilling goodbye, the knowledge that Anika is in teething pain and just wants to cuddle with her mom.

The mornings seem rough for Anika, too, in the beginning. But after she calms down, she'll find some fun toys and play with her new friends. I know she's in great hands and the director tells me every day that she is doing better every day. (And I believe her.)

In fact, she said yesterday was "super!" Her first super day started off with a screaming goodbye, too, so I try not to let worry consume me. I left quickly, gave Anika a kiss and an "I love you" and calmly walked out. Then I ran to the car and sped off.

It's a rough way to start your day. As miserable as it is for me, it's nice to think that other moms call it lucky. Maybe they miss the Separation Anxiety Stage. I can't imagine it, but I maybe I will too.

The incredible adventures of a non-sleeping baby

Rebecca Christman — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 22:41:00 GMT

We made it! All of us (mainly me) survived our first week of day care.

Anika is adjusting well and I’m getting into the swing of our new schedules. My daughter amazes me every day with her new feats and how she's beginning to decipher the world. But what amazes me most of all is the fact that she seems to need no sleep.

As far as day care goes, I understand her non-sleeping tendency. I know how she is in groups of kids: When we visit my nephews she doesn’t nap, either. She doesn’t want to miss any potential excitement.

Reason would have it that a non-sleeping baby in the afternoon would be a sleeping baby at night. Unfortunately, this is not the case.

After 5 days in day care, Anika has barely napped and she has gone to bed late and woke up early … for 5 days in a row. Did I say 5 days? If not, I’d like to mention it’s been 5 days for our non-sleeping baby.

I count my lucky stars she isn’t fussy when she wakes up in the middle of the night. She giggles and starts crawling around, wide-eyed and ready to play!

Last night was the longest night of sleep yet — 4 hours.

Although she’s happy overall, I can tell from the slight shift in her demeanor that she’s nearing the end of her sleep protest. She can’t hold on much longer … or can she?

Maybe she will finally tire out this weekend—another family vacation waterpark weekend. Hopefully we can all squeeze in a nap before we squeeze in the car!

Day care, day one

Rebecca Christman — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 22:42:47 GMT

Not much rattles me these days, but I'm a ball of nervous irrational energy today.

It’s my daughter’s first day of day care. I stayed home with Anika for 6 weeks, then went back to work part-time, then full-time. I worked days and Nate worked nights, so we have been fortunate that she was always with a parent.

Realistically, I have little to complain about. We are fortunate to have a long relationship with a trusted day care professional, who was able to fit Anika into her great environment. We are fortunate that Anika got to spend the days bonding with her father for her first year. I’m excited for Anika to meet, socialize and play with other children. I’m happy she is in a small environment where she will get a lot of individual attention.

But I still have that feeling in my stomach. Not a gut feeling that something is wrong, just a feeling that is … mom nerves, I guess. I know in my gut that Anika will do great in a day care environment. She loves other children and of course, loves to play. We spent a little time at the center to get her prepared. When we left together, she fussed!

This morning as we walked up the steps, she giggled. And she didn’t cry when I left, (which is a completely new phase in the last few weeks).

What am I nervous about? I can’t put a finger on it. Why can’t I put a finger on it? Because there is no logical reason to be nervous. (Mothers don’t have to be logical when it comes to their children, right?)

This afternoon I called the day care center, just to make sure that Anika wasn’t in the midst of a crying fit, missing her parents or unhappy in an unknown place with new people. Before I heard a hello, I heard Anika’s giggles in the background.

Yep, she is fine, just like I knew she would be. I didn’t even have to ask.

I called Nate to see if he was as nervous as me. It’s his day off and he went to the Brewers game, alone and without the hassle of a bringing a diaper bag. I should take a lesson from him sometimes.

The mom nerves have yet again got the best of me. I think I may never be comfortable and calm without my daughter in my arms – or at least in direct view. And until that day comes, I will still unreasonably count the minutes until I can pick her up.

Embarrassing, irrational fears

Rebecca Christman — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:59:00 GMT

I've jumped out of planes numerous times, climbed rocks, slithered through small caves, walked (and danced) on a tightrope and done more tricks on my bicycle than I can count. In my head, I've been planning a scuba diving trip for my next adventure. There are not many things that strike a chord of fear through me.

Until my last experience at the dentist. I've always been diligent about going to the dentist, brushing and flossing. But the last time I went to the dentist (the first time at that dentist), I coud tell something wasn't right. Blood was gushing from my mouth. For three subsequent months after a general cleaning, my teeth constantly ached and I could only eat soft food.

I had been to the dentist twice a year for my entire life and I couldn't believe it, but one bad experience left me fearful. (What will my mother say if she reads this?)

Six months after the ordeal, we discovered I was pregnant and I stopped the new dentist search in favor of searches in baby registries and baby name books.

As with many pregnant women, my teeth and gums became sensitive. I just couldn't muster up the time and courage to make another dental appointment. With everything else going on in my body, I thought more tooth pain might just send me over the edge. I planned to go right after the baby was born.

My daughter is now 10 months old and, after being on my to-do list for a year, I finally made an appointment. I tried to be rational. I asked myself how I could expect my children to not fear the dentist when I couldn't go myself. I had to be the adult example. I reminded myself if I could birth a child with minimal medication, I can get my teeth cleaned. Now that I think about it, I was less nervous for childbirth.

As the hygenist cleaned my teeth, there were a few squirmy moments and a little blood, but all in all it wasn't that bad. I'm also glad to say I've finally conquered my embarrassing, irrational fear!

Say what?

Rebecca Christman — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:43:47 GMT

I am not usually shocked by people's behavior, but every once in a while, I still find myself speechless. This was the case at our recent excursion to the July 4th fireworks.

We had a nice lakefront spot with chairs and blankets for me, 10-month-old Anika, my sister and her kids (ages 7 and 4). Our grassy spot was situated near an abrupt edge with Lake Michigan beneath it. We all sat close together and ate popcorn while we waited for the main event. Overall, it was a safe area or we never would have sat there.

As children do, my 4-year-old nephew started jumping around and was getting naturally closer to the edge. My sister and I were sitting right there and she held his arm, told him not to roughhouse by the edge and to, instead, play by our blanketed area.

Instantly, an older man sitting next to us leaned forward and sternly said: "He's playing a foot from the water. You need to be a better parent to that boy."

His tone was extremely snotty, like that of a child's. It amazes me what people will say to one another, especially about a subject as sensitive as parenting skills. I can't help but wonder, what's the point of saying something with such judgement? To argue with a stranger? To make a scene at a family event? It certainly wasn't to make friendly conversation or lend a helping hand. Had no one ever told him "if you can't say anything nice ...."? Or how about putting the Golden Rule into play?

There was no imminent danger. My nephew was never in harm's way and any potential danger was squashed by my sister before it ever became an issue. She reacted like a good parent.

I like to imagine that people think a little before they speak. For being so concerned about children, this man certainly wasn't concerned about the example he was setting for three children listening to his every word: That's it's okay to talk rudely to other people.

I guess it's up to the good parents to teach children to treat people better than that.

I'm a sucker

Rebecca Christman — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 16:53:00 GMT

As with every July 3rd, there will be fireworks tonight.

And as with many summer activities this year, I felt I had to pass. It just seemed to risky with a 9-month-old.

Even though Nate works on the lakefront and offered to reserve a space for me and our daughter Anika, I still think it's a lot of effort that might not work in our favor. True, it would be nice for us to spend some family time together, even though he will be busy working. But since we work opposite shifts, there is a comfort when the family is together in a close physical proximity to one another.

But it's late and it will be crowded at the lakefront. It will take effort to beat the crowd, park, find a place to sit ... and if all that trouble leads to an overtired cranky baby who finds the fireworks too loud, I'll be the cranky one.

This morning I told Nate my concerns that our daughter Anika would not enjoy the fireworks and I won't be upset to miss them this year. We'll do it next year. Case closed, so I thought.

While I was at work, Nate bypassed my good judgement and called my sister, invited them to his lakefront spot. My sister and her two children, ages 4 and 7, each responded with an enthusiastic "woop, woop!"

Nate clearly knows my weak spots - and it's for my nephews' woop woops. My sister and I have changed many a plan, stayed later at a festival, stayed extra days on a vacation due to the woop, woop. I'm sure Anika will someday learn the secret of the woop woop from her cousins.

Sure, call us suckers. It would be true, but it always ends with more fun, so you can't blame us. We're suckers for family fun. So now I am faced with two woop woops and everyone is excited. How can I say no to enthusiasm?

When I get home, I'm going to encourage Anika to take a very long nap, pack her up for her first Independence Day celebration and cross my fingers. May the woop woops be with us -- all night!

Little kids, Big Gig

Rebecca Christman — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 15:41:00 GMT

With the incentive of free tickets, Nate and I decided to be brave and take the family to Summerfest.

We take our 9-month-old baby, Anika, just about everywhere. Our family toted her along at a mere 3 weeks old to our favorite Japanese restaurant. She celebrated her two month "birthday" at a Brewers game.

But now that she's crawling, she is rarely content to stay still on my lap or tuck into a Baby Bjorn for a snooze.

On Friday, minutes after deciding to take Anika and her big sister Mia to Summerfest, it started raining. I was sure that solidified our plans of staying in the house, but Nate had different plans. Never one to pass up a festival, he figured the rain would pass and the fairgrounds would clear out -- leaving a perfect spacious area for our family.

I was skeptical, but with free tickets and a free parking pass, we had nothing to lose. Even though my gut was telling me that there was no way we could pull this off, I packed an overstuffed diaper bag and shoved the stroller in the trunk.

We arrived and went through the bag/stroller check with none of the problems I had anticipated. To my surprise, things were looking positive.

Our first stop is always Mia's fest favorite, the corn stand. Immediately, Anika was fussy. I thought she must have been over-stimulated and suggested we sit alone at the lakefront. Nate shrugged and said, "Try this." He took Mia's corn on the cob and gave it to Anika. A few licks and a bite of corn and she was calm. Leave it to relaxed father intuition.

We danced, played games and shared food until an impressive 9:45 p.m. It was the perfect time to leave, because as the sun went down, the air chilled and fair-goers became magically drunker.

Sometimes our plans actually work out, sometimes they go dreadfully wrong. But days like this remind me why we keep trying.

Taking the Leap

Rebecca Christman — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 12:33:00 GMT

I’ll be honest, when I was first approached to write a blog, I responded with a firm no.

My answer was most likely inspired by some self-help book I vaguely remember reading (skimming) in my 20s about busy women who are not able to graciously and guiltlessly say no. As someone who worked three jobs while writing a college thesis, I was never that woman to turn down an opportunity/job/volunteer project.

Still a new mom, I worried how I could fit it in. Or worse yet, how I could remember to post.

When I was pregnant with Anika, a veteran mom asked me if I was suffering from “Mommy Brain.” I was completely unfamiliar with the term, as my silent glare revealed.

“It’s true,” she said. “You get forgetful and flighty, but don’t worry, you’ll get it back—mostly.”

Mostly? It didn’t make sense then, but now I get it. I can testify to the existence of the urban legend of mommy brain.

I "officially, for the last time" leave the house at least twice (on a good day). I’ve misplaced the electric bill. Three times. I’ve even forgotten to put diapers in the diaper bag.

Yesterday, for example, I tried to mail a birthday package to Anika’s grandmother. Overlooking the fact that her birthday was two weeks ago, the package was ready to go—photos of the children, a birthday gift and card. I planned to hit the post office on my lunch break, but before I left my office, I realized I’d forgotten the envelope with her address written on it.

I called home, ordered Anika’s daddy, Nate, to shuffle through my address book (I don’t know when or how it became so disorganized). I wrote the address on the back of another envelope.

As I walked in the door to the post office, I did a double- and triple-take through my purse. The envelope I wrote on minutes ago was still sitting on my desk.

Through clenched teeth, I planned to call a co-worker for the address. But my cell phone was sitting on my desk next to the envelope.

Her package still sits in the back of the car for when I re-attempt to send the package, hopefully within the month of her birthday.

Even with my forgetfulness, I’m hopeful I can write a blog people will find interesting enough to read. And I must have forgotten about my firm no, because when I was asked a second time to do a blog, I responded with a firm—and enthusiastic—yes.