Tales of a Square Peg

The search is over:  Charley found us; and we're proud to announce that we're new parents and GG's the new big sister of Charley, a four-month old Shih-Poo.   

I say he found us because we had actually answered Sunday's newspaper ad in response to a different puppy.  On Monday, before we went to check the puppy out, both Jamie & I agreed that if the puppy we were going to see was "the one," we'd get him, but if not, then we knew that it just wasn't meant to be.  Well, the puppy that we went to see wasn't the one, but we saw Charley and he definitely was.  We made arrangements to pick him up on Friday afternoon.

It's amazing how much preparing for a puppy's arrival is like preparing for a new baby.  I had to submit my PTO request (called FMLA when a baby's on the way).  I thought about how, like GG, he was coming to us with nothing but a birthday suit.  He needed a crate, collar, leash, food, toys, grooming stuff, cleaning products for the inevitable potty training accidents; so Tuesday afternoon, I spent my lunch hour (and a good chunk of cash) at PetCo.  Even before that, I bought "Raising Puppies for Dummies" and "Raising Puppies & Kids Together:  A Guide for Parents."  Reminds me of reading the "What to Expect When You're Expecting" series before GG got here.  Then we had to select a vet.  GG's Godmother provided us with a referral and I immediately scheduled his appointment for this Monday.  And of course, we had the name dilemma:  I thought he was a Charley right away.  Jamie thought maybe he was a Mack...or a Pierre.  GG wanted to name him after a boy in her class.  But he's a Charley and the name stuck.

Anyway, Charley's home now; and for a first night away from his puppy buddies, I think he did quite well.  I was expecting much more yelping, but he seemed quite content.  Then 5:00a rolled around and Jamie did the "go outside duty" -- again, just makes me think of those early morning feedings with GG.  Speaking of GG, she's ecstatic, and being such a gentle little soul.  She's read "Clifford the Small Red Puppy" to Charley," and has helped me out with feeding and watering him.

Charley's a sweet little guy, and it's going to be very exciting to see what life is going to be like from now on with that not-so-familiar pitter-patter. 

If you're over a certain age, the title of this post probably took you back to the 1970's Norman Lear ground-breaking sitcom "Maude."  Maude came up when Jamie, GG and I were out on errands this past Saturday, and I asked Jamie what he thought of my new sunglasses.  With one glance, he immediately said "Nice glasses....Maude."  Apparently, my funky new eyewear reminded my beloved of the glasses that Maude used to wear.  Rather than leading to hurt feelings, it led to us singing what we could remember of the show's theme song, and ending with the best line of the whole thing: "Right on, Maude!"  Poor GG.....she's got some weirdo parents and she knows it.  She sat there, captive in her booster seat looking at us like we were from another planet.

Anyway, if you're not old enough to remember Maude, I'll give you the premise: Bea Arthur (of Golden Girls Fame) played the title character. The whole thing centered around the fact that Maude bucked against traditional trends by being outspoken, divorced more than once and even (gasp!) working outside the home.  Obviously, Maude tackled a lot a hot button topics of the time, but the big deal was that the character was a "women's libber."  She challenged the "established roles" for women in word (sometimes a LOT of words) and deed.

So here I am thirty years later:  I work full-time at a job I love.  It keeps me busy while I'm at work and, at times, my mind busy after hours.  I also have a couple of volunteer commitments.  I'm full-time wife-ing and full-time mom-ing which includes on-call hours for illness, field trips, puppy-planning, the school play, and whatever else I can do for the PTL in the extra time I have.

What the heck was Maude thinking, anyway?  I believe in women's rights, but sheesh!  Even with extraordinary help and support from Jamie (a great partner, dad and jack-of-all-trades), handling career and family is a lot.  But for a lot of us, that's just the way it is.  And there's plenty more moms (and dads too) who are either doing all of this stuff on their own and/or doing a ton more than what I'm doing in my little corner of the world.  So yeah, women's lib was great, and yes, many a glass ceiling has been shattered because of the movement, but did Maude's groundbreaking chosen lifestyle back in the 70's morph into a way of life that's backbreaking for us now? 

Don't take me too seriously, here -- these are just the Sunday night musings of a mom who's looking at Monday morning coming down.  I know that the real life Maudes did us all some good: they were the foundation of our generation:  women (and men) who don't only sing "I am strong...I am invincible," but when the economy and needs of family call us, we are strong.  And we're smart enough to realize that we are not invincible, and that it's okay not to be.

And if nothing else, they gave us the TV Maude....and she had an awesome theme song.  Right on, Maude!

We're expecting.  This is how I found out about it.

A few weeks ago when GG had gone to bed, my husband and I were chatting when he said "Just so you know (followed by the most pregnant of pauses ever known to man)....I told GG she could have a puppy for her birthday."

Since I didn't want to be forever known as the Wicked Witch who's the killer of puppy dreams, I accepted -- and even embraced -- our expecting status.  So yes, we are expecting: a puppy.  Which to me is pretty much like a baby -- except puppies are weaned and can walk at eight weeks old.

Now, my acceptance of our new family member was based upon two conditions: 1.) that I select the breed; and 2.) that said breed will be small enough to believe that our house is a mansion and that our backyard is a park.  And because GG has a December birthday, and I don't intend to begin potty training while the snow is flying, our new arrival should arrive sooner than later.  Thus, my search for the perfect puppy has begun. 

I grew up with big dogs and don't know a whole lot about the little ones, so researching these little guys or girls is essential -- and the research alone is proving to be an experience in of itself: there's Morkies, Schnorkies, Dorkies, Schnoodles, Doodles, Doxiepoos, Teddy Bears, you name it.  Then there's the research to find breed personalities that mesh with our lifestyle.  For instance, I know that we're all pretty tuckered out by the end of the day. Cocker spaniels (adorable as they are) are genetically disposed to be high energy and would not work well with us.  Alternately, my research and advice from a dog enthusiast points to the Bichon Frise.  Laid back, needing moderate exercise, the Bichon Frise would be a perfect lifestyle match for our family.  Only thing is, Jamie isn't crazy about them.  So it looks like researching and identifying the right match BEFORE the snow flies AND making everyone happy is going to be my new part-time job.

Sometimes I think having another baby -- the kind that learns to walk at two years old on two legs -- would be easier.

The view from down here is dizzying.  Oh, did I mention that the High Horse I was on, Prepared Pepper, threw me off this weekend?

The bucking started when I realized that school was one short week away.  GG still didn't have school clothes, including shoes..or any school supplies, for that matter.**  Not to worry: there was a major sale going on, and to top it off, I had coupons so there was no way I could go wrong.  We got up early to beat the crowds and as soon as we walked in the store, I could hear the heavenly chorus singing -- everything GG needed was right there -- on sale.  We gleefully skipped from rounder to rounder and picked out two or three sets of each outfit that GG'd need (at least until the weather changes), and left with our treasures.  We got home and GG tried everything on.  That's when the bucking got violent.  Everything -- EVERYTHING -- was one size too small.  C'mon!  Hadn't she just grown a full size at the beginning of summer?  Doesn't matter, I reasoned, we've got time to exchange this stuff; it's not like school is starting next....DOH!

I kept calm and kept riding.  This didn't have to stop me from going online and ordering school supplies.  Even better, GG's school online system would let me buy everything without having to step foot in a store.  It only took a couple of clicks and....they weren't accepting any more orders for the schoolyear.  I had waited too late to order supplies from the comfort of my own home.

I reined in the increasingly stubborn Prepared Pepper, and went to the store with the supplies list.  Item #1: a box of 12-count broad-tipped Crayola washable markers.  We immediately found:  Crayola markers (check), Broad-tipped (check), Washable (check), 12-count (NO check).  Oh sure, there were 8-count, 10-count, 16-count, and even Stampers.  What the heck are Stampers anyway? I stood there confused, and puzzled for a good 10 minutes, weighing the pros and cons of 10-count versus 16-count versus Stampers.

The rest of supplies shopping was a blur because by then, Prepared Pepper had catapulted me to where I am now; and I won't be hopping back up on that High Horse anytime soon again.  In fact, I think I'll just stay right here: dizzy, dazed and confused.

**Many parents and caregivers in the community are having a tough time buying school clothes and supplies.  If you want to help them out, just dial "2-1-1" from your home phone or 414-773-0211 from your cell phone to find out where donations for these items are being accepted.**

Yeah. I'll go there; snub me if you want, Miss Manners.  I know politics isn't polite conversation, but there's a whole lot of stuff going on.  Good stuff.  Now I'm not talking about Republican versus Democrat; Offshore Drilling versus Keeping It Green; or even Pearls Girls versus Hockey Moms.  I'm talking about the election process (or spectacle at times) and how it's giving our kids -- my kid included -- a world view of people and expectations that we never had.

I must admit that I've become somewhat of a cable news junkie.  I only know this because I was trying to talk GG into doing something in the midst of the primary season.  She went into one of her long explanations why she couldn't do whatever it was that I had asked her to do, and to cap it all off she said "and I don't want to be a Superdelegate."

But she did ask reasonable questions.  Like exactly what "the lady" (Hillary at that time) and "the man who dresses like a president" (Obama) were doing during one of the debates.  I explained that they were in a contest to see who could get in the BIG contest to be President.  She wanted Hillary to win at first "because she's a girl."  Then later on she said she was going to vote for Mike Huckabee (I think because his last name is kind of funny).  Then she said she was going to vote for Obama.  (For the same reason as Huckabee, I think)  The neat thing is that GG never once said anything about a lady or a brown President being "different."  My daughter's five, and she does notice skin color and gender, but they never came up in this particular context.  HOW COOL IS THAT?

For us "old people" this kind of thinking -- this kind of worldview, I believe, is new for us.  Seriously, I still find myself thinking how incredible it is that women are vying for national leadership positions.  I also think about my parents, and how I wish they were alive to see a black man running for the highest office of the land.  I'm not sure who they'd vote for, but especially for my dad -- a man born in 1922 Alabama, whose uncle was lynched during those dark days -- this entire process would be huge.

But it's not huge or incredible for GG -- or her contemporaries.  This is how they see our world now and how they'll see it in the future.  As far as they're concerned, why wouldn't a lady or a brown man be President?

I just think that's really good stuff; so you'll have to excuse me for bringing up politics this time, Miss Manners.