Tales of a Square Peg

This time of year known as the Holiday Season to everyone else is known as Year End to those of us in the non-profit world.  Now's when we make our last push to get those extra donations in to meet our budgets and fundraising goals, so we send out letters, double-check with funders that we've approached about pending grants, and start preparing for the annual audit.  In a word, it's just been busy, and I've definitely been on that crazy treadmill too.  And lately, the running theme in my mind has been "All I want for Christmas is my sense of humor back...or at least my sense of fun back" because I find it really hard to disconnect from the busyness of work and reconnect with the not only the true meaning of Christmas, but also the funny, silly things that GG does.

Anyway, today started the first day of an entire week off.  I spent the morning -- probably like a gazillion other people -- trying to get the last minute things done that I should've have done weeks ago, and of course GG was with me -- partially so she could see Santa, and mostly so we could reconnect.  GG calls it a "Mom and GG Day."  We got up early, headed to the mall in the blowing snow and made it there before the crowds hit.  She picked out a present for her uncle, and then we headed off to see Santa.  I love Mayfair's Santa because he looks like the genuine article.  Each year, he says "My you've grown"  and that always makes me feel like "maybe, just maybe he does exist."  But today was the capper of all cappers -- he says "Well, you're on the good list.....BUT you've got to work on your listening.  Especially when you're shopping with your mom."  That was the very thing we've been talking about over the last few days!  How did he know?!

Call me naive, but all of the sudden, I was 7 years old again, wondering along with GG how he could've possibly known that she's got "listening issues."  I couldn't have asked for a better present than that.  And GG had renewed motivation to work on her listening.

Think I'm officially off the treadmill now.  Merry Christmas everyone.

Today’s the 17^th…so let’s see….25 minus 17 means there’s….EIGHT MORE DAYS until Christmas!  There's still plenty of time left!

I'll start with our Christmas tree.  Poor thing’s been sitting there naked except for three hundred lights and some garland.  Easily squeezed in tonight after GG’s Christmas pageant.  Oh – that reminds me….I didn’t tell GG’s Godparents about the pageant.  That’s okay, I’ll call them after I’m done with this post.  Cross that off the list.  Back to the tree.  I still have time to do it and…wait a minute: GG’s mini-tree needs ornaments too, and I’ve been promising her that we’d decorate it after she gets home from school.  Perfect!  We can do it before tonight’s pageant.  Cross that off the list too.

Was I supposed to be calling someone about something?

GG’s Christmas shopping should be easy -- I know what she wants because she told me what she’s going to tell Santa she wants.  Oh no, GG hasn’t visited Santa yet!  We can’t very well have the gifts and tell her that Santa brought ‘em when she hasn’t even talked to him yet!  I wonder how long that pageant’s going to be…Hmm...think I’ll call to see how long Santa’s at the mall once I’m done with this post.  Perfect!  We’ll just go see Santa after the pageant’s over.  Back to shopping for GG, stores are open super late now, so I can still fit that in tonight after we see Santa after the pageant after we decorate the tree.  Cross some more stuff off the list!

Who was I going to call again?

Whatever.  After tonight, I’ll have another seven days to shop for Christmas dinner, even though I don’t even know what we’re having …think I’ll call Jamie & see what he thinks once I’m done with this post.  Speaking of Jamie, I’ve still got time to shop for him, GG’s Godparents, my mother-in-law, my Godchild, my brother and his wife; get the Christmas Cards in the mail; clean the house and hopefully find the Jimmy Buffet Christmas CD that hasn't been seen since last Christmas.

So you see, eight days is plenty of time….Now, why am I calling Jamie again?

4 days until D-Day – or shall I say the B-Day (although, technically, GG’s birthday is indeed D-Day/Pearl Harbor).  Anyway, she’s turning 6 on Sunday, and I’m not quite sure what to do with myself.  I don’t know if has to do with hormonal stuff that women go through when they reach a certain age, or just the fact that (sniff, sniff): my baby’s not a baby anymore.

I’ve realized this melancholy/nostalgic/introspective thing happens to me every year about seven days before her birthday.  GG, on the other hand, seems to exert her independence/will/individuality – sometimes exhibited by uncharacteristic (and it pains me to say it) brattiness seven days before her special day. 

And so I end up on this weird emotional seesaw where I’m on her (it seems like constantly) for doing things she wouldn’t normally do (e.g. sassing one of her favorite aunts) and wondering where I went wrong and realizing how woefully unprepared I was for this parenting gig in the first place.  Then the seesaw goes up (or down depending on the day) and I see how she’s got her own little circle of friends at school.  Or I call home from work to see how her day went and she tells me that she’s “a little busy right now.”  Or she comes up with ideas about helping “people who are poor” and “people who are sad.” 

All of it gets me misty because I realize that GG really is a big kid now….and maybe, just maybe – in between all the ups and downs - some of what we’re trying to impart is getting through.

Guess I’m looking forward to D-Day/B-Day after all, even though I’ll see it through the misty eyes of a woefully unprepared mom.

Happy Birthday, GG.  Mom and Dad love you more than anything.

GG two months after THE Birth Day

GG at last year's birthday party.

Sniff. Sniff.