Tales of a Square Peg

I was never a whiz at math.  I mean, really – I once asked our algebra teacher why we had to solve an equation if we already knew that 6x = 18.  My poor mom – she put in countless hours trying to tutor me on the FOIL method alone.  By the time I’d finally get a concept, our class was moving on to a new unit and then she’d have to start the whole process all over again.  One time my rock-headedness tried her patience to the point that she ended up in tears.

GG’s different, though.  This kid’s been a whiz at everything she’s put her hand to in her short six years on this earth.  Reading?  No problem.  Writing & Art?  I’ve got a ton of her love notes and masterpieces on my nightstand.  Socially, she’s the most well-adjusted kid that I’ve seen.  In fact, I was the one crying on her first day of daycare – not her.

GG started ice skating lessons at the Pettit Center two weeks ago, and I figured that she’d take to it like everything else she’s done.  Not so much.  Her knees seemed to be glued together, and her feet barely left the ice.  My darling, outgoing, smart and graceful baby looked like a big pink penguin.  And I could tell it was bugging her too as she watched some of the other kids whiz past. 

As we watched during her first lesson, GG's usual smile had been exchanged for a look of pure grit and determination.  My motherly instinct wanted to scoop her up and tell her that she didn’t have to do it anymore, but it dawned on me:  this is the first thing that she’s had to work for; and it’s good for her.  She and I skated after class, and I was giving her what I think were helpful hints.  She began to make progress and was slowly morphing from a penguin into a little skater; and you could see the look of pride on her face when things started to “click.”

This whole experience is good for both of us – GG’s learning that some things will take hard work, and that there's personal satisfaction in achievement after you work hard for something.  I’m learning that I can’t just swoop in and always make it “all better” for her; and I know that down the road, sometimes, she’ll even have to make her own mistakes.

But I’ll always be there right alongside ready to help when the time is right…..as long as it doesn’t involve math.

Good comedy's all about timing; and if you were at Red Arrow Park's Slice of Ice this past Friday around 2:00ish, you probably got some great comedy from the adults there skating badly.  VERY badly.

Like this one woman  -- she oozed cockiness as she came out of the skate rental place with her daughter (who was obviously a little pensive about skating in the first place) and her husband -- who was there with the camera ready for the photo ops.  Nose in the air, she told her little one, "Let Mommy warm up first, and then we'll skate together" and took off.  Only she didn't.  She wobbled like a newborn calf and joked "Wow, this ice is really slippery!" with the Sideline Moms who couldn't help but look at the spectacle.  They only looked at her like the fool she was.  I'll give the woman credit though, she kept her brave face while stumbling awkwardly and began to glide....glide out of control, that is.  That's when she came crashing down with a BANG-ker-Slide (about 4 feet, if anyone was measuring) on the ice.  The beaten-down woman looked at the Sideline Moms and mumbled something like "What the heck happened?" and the moms just tried to politely ignore her as best they could.  I swear, the ruckus this clumsy woman created even caused her husband and child to back away (far, far away) from this crazy-newborn-calf-nonskating person they came to the park with.

That would have been hilarious...if it hadn't been me.

Once upon a time, I had been a very graceful skater.  I regularly skated at Mayfair Mall's ice skating rink, zipping round and round for hours on end.  And even last year -- and the year before that -- even the year before that, I had been good!  DARN good!  But for some reason this past Friday, I remember stepping out onto the ice and knowing that something didn't feel quite right.  I figured that the unusal slippery-ness was just me getting older (heck, I'm gonna be forty this year), but it wasn't anything I couldn't overcome, hence the trivial commentary with the Sideline Moms.  Then the initial fall happened.  Stubbornly refusing to believe that getting older could turn me into a wreck on the rink, I got up.  Big Mistake:  That's when the final SPA-LATT happened.  I was ready to throw in the towel or at least use one for my backside that was by that time covered in slushy ice.  Even Jamie and GG had backed away and started looking at me like I was from the Twilight Zone or something.  Then thankfully...finally, some wonderful man whose name I shall never know, but to whom I'll always be grateful said "Hey!  You've got your blade guards on!"

My pride hopes that your timing was off on Friday so you would have missed the five minute disaster that was me that day.  But if it was on and you caught my impromptu slip-sliding-away show, I hope you got a chuckle out of it.