Yeah. I'll go there; snub me if you want, Miss Manners.  I know politics isn't polite conversation, but there's a whole lot of stuff going on.  Good stuff.  Now I'm not talking about Republican versus Democrat; Offshore Drilling versus Keeping It Green; or even Pearls Girls versus Hockey Moms.  I'm talking about the election process (or spectacle at times) and how it's giving our kids -- my kid included -- a world view of people and expectations that we never had.

I must admit that I've become somewhat of a cable news junkie.  I only know this because I was trying to talk GG into doing something in the midst of the primary season.  She went into one of her long explanations why she couldn't do whatever it was that I had asked her to do, and to cap it all off she said "and I don't want to be a Superdelegate."

But she did ask reasonable questions.  Like exactly what "the lady" (Hillary at that time) and "the man who dresses like a president" (Obama) were doing during one of the debates.  I explained that they were in a contest to see who could get in the BIG contest to be President.  She wanted Hillary to win at first "because she's a girl."  Then later on she said she was going to vote for Mike Huckabee (I think because his last name is kind of funny).  Then she said she was going to vote for Obama.  (For the same reason as Huckabee, I think)  The neat thing is that GG never once said anything about a lady or a brown President being "different."  My daughter's five, and she does notice skin color and gender, but they never came up in this particular context.  HOW COOL IS THAT?

For us "old people" this kind of thinking -- this kind of worldview, I believe, is new for us.  Seriously, I still find myself thinking how incredible it is that women are vying for national leadership positions.  I also think about my parents, and how I wish they were alive to see a black man running for the highest office of the land.  I'm not sure who they'd vote for, but especially for my dad -- a man born in 1922 Alabama, whose uncle was lynched during those dark days -- this entire process would be huge.

But it's not huge or incredible for GG -- or her contemporaries.  This is how they see our world now and how they'll see it in the future.  As far as they're concerned, why wouldn't a lady or a brown man be President?

I just think that's really good stuff; so you'll have to excuse me for bringing up politics this time, Miss Manners.

When I worked at a different organization over ten years ago, Emmy's (not her real name) and my boss did volunteer work together.  We had talked and joked with each other while we did meeting scheduling and those types of thngs over the phone; so although we had never met, we had a great relationship.  One day I called Emmy to see if her boss received the mailing I sent out.  He hadn't yet, and Emmy let me know that it was probably being held up with the temps in the mailroom because "Well.....they're [the temps] black.  You know how they are."  The confrontation just wasn't worth it, so I just got out a "Uh, yeah....I know what you mean.  Let me know when he does get it.  Thanks."  Guess I didn't sound like I was black -- whatever that means.

Calm down, it happens.  It wasn't the first time I ran into that, and it probably won't be the last.  And Emmy's genuinely nice -- its not like she burns crosses on people's lawns in her downtime; she was just talking out of her....ignorance.  And let's face it, even though Milwaukee's brown population -- Hispanic and Latino American, Asian, Black, and mixed-race -- is growing, the images that we see of these local "brown people" are kind of out of balance.  We see perpetrators or people in poverty, but not much in between.  So I can't completely place all of the blame on Emmy.  When we don't see positive images balanced with those of the negative, I think we (and I'm including myself here) subconsciously buy into believing that that specific people groups are the sum total of what we see.  This concerns me particularly as we raise GG.  I mean, she obviously has me and some of my other family members to see as positive brown images, but not many others.  Her primary exposure to local brown people (Hispanic and Latino, Asian, Middle-eastern) is what we see on television news or in the paper....and I just wonder how much of it she's buying into.

I know there are many brown people who counter the images.  They're dedicated individuals who quietly work to sustain our community through philanthropy, volunteerism, and just doing their day-to-day jobs.  Like I said in my first post, I am hopeful about our community's future, and a lot it of has to do with these kind of folks.  So, in periodic future posts, I'd like to shed light on a few brown people who counter the negative images that we see.  By uncovering the work they do, I believe I can re-educate myself, and in so doing provide better images for GG -- and hopefully for you and your kids too.

Now, don't misunderstand me, I'm far from an expert on "all peoples brown."  I know about some who are working in and/or leading great organizations, but I don't claim to know about all; so I'd like for you to help me out in this fact-finding mission.  Here's how:

*Email me at the link below if you know of a "brown person"  (that means black, Hispanic or Latino, Asian or other ethnic minority) who's doing something to uplift the community.  (Coaches, foster parents, people in business, teachers, EMTs, bus drivers, volunteers, you-name-it); or

*Email me at the link below IF YOU ARE a brown person who's doing something to uplift our community.  I'd like to hear your story; and, as always:

*Keep the comments coming.  The more we all talk and hear each other's views, the more educated we'll be.  Just click on the comment button below.

I'm looking forward to hearing from you.  I know we can't change the images we see overnight, but together we can uncover some new, positive ones....for ourselves and our kids.

In the very early hours of December 7 2002, my husband and I were in a hospital birthing room waiting for GG's arrival.  Shortly after we put our stuff away, a nurse came to get our information for check in.  I responded to all the routine questions through the waves of pain sneaking up on me – and then the demographic questions came: "And you're....Black?"  As if she couldn’t tell.  C'mon lady...can’t you ask me something like 'When would you like your epidural?'  Once the pain subsided, I obliged. "Yes."  "And you're…. White?" she says to Jamie.  Gimme a break here.  He played along.  "Yes."  "And the baby will be....?"  Gee, I don’t know… Hopefully, healthy?  Finally I said "You mean to tell me that we're starting this already?  We’re already checking a box for a baby who's not even here yet."  She must have seen the exasperation in my face, and finally answered her own question: "I'll just say that the baby is both."  Well of course the baby's both!  I'm the Black Mom and he's the White Dad -- what else could the baby be?  And I didn't think about that whole color/race business again.

So was it time to have a kiddie conversion about race?  Jamie and I decided that it wasn't.  The whole notion of "race" and color (at least the way it's been defined: Black, White) really doesn't make any sense -- especially to a little one who understands black to be the color of her favorite dressy shoes; or that white is the color of the paper upon which she draws.  It really made me wonder how much energy it takes to unlearn those basic concepts and to then reclassify them to mean a person or group of persons -- and sometimes, sadly, the characteristics associated with a group of persons -- whether that means the way certain "colors" sound when they talk, what their socioeconomic status is, or even where they live in our community.  So when race would come up in our house, it was used to describe the physical characteristic of people.  (e.g. Mom, remember that guy in the movie, he had a brown body)  And that whole race/color issue was settled. Whew!

So this is my plea to all the Powers That Be:  Let me check two boxes for my kid!....and I've even got a suggestion for some new boxes: One could say Black Mom and another could say White Dad......that is, until Behr's creative comes up with something better for those labels.

Now it's Your Turn:  When was the first time your child noticed color differences in people; and how did you explain it to them?  Just click on "Add Comment" to share your story.

I think that the the topic of color and race (particularly the Black/White dynamic) is an interesting and fascinating one that's going to be with us all for some time.  If you're wondering how to talk about it with your kids, take advantage of the available resources out there.  Interested in current commentary?  Check out one of the special reports being aired on CNN this month.