Early last week, I came home to find two new members of the family:  "Bubbly" and "Tink," the goldfish that Jamie and GG brought home from a nearby pet store.  These were "replacement pets," promised to GG upon the untimely demise of her African Dwarf Frogs -- Irie, Nemo, Adjulasia -- and another one whose name I can't remember.   Jamie's been pushing fish versus frogs since we made that promise, but I would have preferred frogs because I have a silly, irrational fear of fish.  I know they can't hurt me, but it's just something about them -- the unblinking eyes, the mouths that always do that fishy-open-mouth-thing.  It puts me on the brink of nausea.  Sweaty palms.  Passing out even.  Love smoked salmon, but I just can't look at it.  Swim in a lake or a pond?  Forget it.  Need therapy?  Probably.

It isn't funny.  When I was about GG's age, my brothers had two big goldfish.  As goldfish are apt to do, they died after a couple of days or a week, and like most parents, mine flushed 'em when they did.  Well, I couldn't get those fishy eyes and mouths out of my head, and to top it all off, I knew they were there.  In our toilet.  In perpetuity.  I refused to use our goldfish cemetery for at least three months after that.  Luckily, we had two other bathrooms.

Now, I'm a grown-up and we go to the zoo.  The first place GG always wants to go is the aquarium; and I go because I don't want her seeing me being freakish about fish.  Once we're inside, I start thinking "What if there's a fault line in the glass of these tanks?"  "What would it be like to have all those fish flipping around your feet?"  Then my heart rate starts to speed up and by that time, we've got to move on to any other exhibit.  It really isn't funny.

Anyway, GG loved Bubbly and Tink.  As soon as I came home from work on the day of their arrival, she says "Mom!  Dad and me got goldfish!  Come LOOK at them!"  I glared at Jamie, clenched my sweaty palms and followed GG to her room.  There they were.....eyes and all.  I mustered a smile, swallowed hard, glanced at them and tried to divert my attention to the gravel on the bottom of the tank.  "Aren't they cute?!  Just look at their little EYES."  "Yes, hon.  I see them.  Adorable...Mama's gotta change into some comfy clothes now, okay?"  "But LOOK AT THEM!"  "Mom will, hon.  Later, okay?"

Bubbly and Tink lived happily in GG's room.  Every night, she'd read to them; play music for them and put fish stickers next to their tank, so they could look at the stickers and 'be happy.'  So, it was understandable that she was anxious to see Bubbly and Tink when we got home from our weekend get-away.  We walked in the door and she raced to her room, and......yep.  You guessed it:  Bubbly and Tink were gone.  Crossed over to the Other Side.

There were tears.  From all of us.  Jamie and I knew she loved them, and as parents, we hate -- more than anything -- seeing GG saddened by life's harsh realities.  GG and I went outside to talk about it while Jamie took care of things inside.  We went through the "they're in a better place," "it's okay to cry" and the "we'll always have the memories" talk -- like we did when the frogs died.  The tears soon subsided, and we went on to have lunch.

At lunch, Jamie said a "special prayer" in light of Bubbly and Tink's passing.  I don't know if it was tiredness setting in from our road trip, but when Jamie solemnly said "Bless Bubbly and Tink," and then "we know they're with the frogs now," I got the giggles.  Bad.  By the time he got to the part about us finding new pets, I was a step away from going into a full-blown giggle-snorting fit, but luckily, I was able to hold everything in.

Really -- I'm not a terrible mom; and I do, truly feel bad about Bubbly and Tink's sad ending.  And it isn't funny, life lessons haven't been lost here, but -- hey, wait a minute:

Did he flush Bubbly & Tink?  Oh no.....we've only got one bathroom.

This really isn't funny.