“Now….are you crying because it’s that time of the month, or uh…..”  That was my Beloved's response to me crying over a working-mother dilemma I was facing. 

Bottom line is this: there was a last-minute work thing that got scheduled smack-dab in the middle of GG’s first big-kid speaking role at school.  “She’ll be fine.  You know she’s got it memorized, she’ll do great.  I’ll be there.  I’ll videotape it."  That was my husband's very logical reasoning. Jamie’s not clueless – far from it.  My job’s been cranking up lately and he’s really been Dad AND Mom lately, so I should have been thankful.  But instead, I was ripped up in shreds.  So no – the tears weren’t because of “that time of the month,” these were bona fide Working-Mom Tears.  He looked at me helplessly as I forced out an "Okay."  Realizing his logical logic was useless to his teary wife, he said “You need to talk to Amy about this.”  He meant BFF Amy.  We’ve been friends since we were five and he knew she’d talk some sense into me.

But he forgot BFF Amy is also a mom…with THREE kids.  BFF Amy and I talked about it…and like a Mom, she advised…”Yeah, that’s hard… she’ll have other stuff, but she’s only going to have her first time doing something like this once...and you can't get that back.”  Later, I talked to BFF Becky – she’s my sister-in-law and GG’s Godmother.  Back when her 20-something-year-old was GG’s age, she was a working mom too.  After a lot of tears on my part and lots of hugs on BFF Becky’s part, she offered “Maybe you just have to stand up and tell ‘em that your daughter comes first.”  But at the same time, she also understood the work obligation “But if you have to be at work, you tell me – and I’ll be there.  I know it won't be like you being there, but I’m her Godmother. That’s what I’m here for, honey.”  Makes me tear up now just writing about it.

Anyway, that’s what I love about my Mom-BFFs…they get it.  They put up with every conversation being about the crisis at hand, even if it means having a week-long conversation about the same thing.  They get the push-pull of working and mothering, and they’ve got the common sense to say when it’s time to push back.  They put up with Working-Mom Tears….and they never, EVER ask if the tears are there because it’s “that time of the month.”

The view from down here is dizzying.  Oh, did I mention that the High Horse I was on, Prepared Pepper, threw me off this weekend?

The bucking started when I realized that school was one short week away.  GG still didn't have school clothes, including shoes..or any school supplies, for that matter.**  Not to worry: there was a major sale going on, and to top it off, I had coupons so there was no way I could go wrong.  We got up early to beat the crowds and as soon as we walked in the store, I could hear the heavenly chorus singing -- everything GG needed was right there -- on sale.  We gleefully skipped from rounder to rounder and picked out two or three sets of each outfit that GG'd need (at least until the weather changes), and left with our treasures.  We got home and GG tried everything on.  That's when the bucking got violent.  Everything -- EVERYTHING -- was one size too small.  C'mon!  Hadn't she just grown a full size at the beginning of summer?  Doesn't matter, I reasoned, we've got time to exchange this stuff; it's not like school is starting next....DOH!

I kept calm and kept riding.  This didn't have to stop me from going online and ordering school supplies.  Even better, GG's school online system would let me buy everything without having to step foot in a store.  It only took a couple of clicks and....they weren't accepting any more orders for the schoolyear.  I had waited too late to order supplies from the comfort of my own home.

I reined in the increasingly stubborn Prepared Pepper, and went to the store with the supplies list.  Item #1: a box of 12-count broad-tipped Crayola washable markers.  We immediately found:  Crayola markers (check), Broad-tipped (check), Washable (check), 12-count (NO check).  Oh sure, there were 8-count, 10-count, 16-count, and even Stampers.  What the heck are Stampers anyway? I stood there confused, and puzzled for a good 10 minutes, weighing the pros and cons of 10-count versus 16-count versus Stampers.

The rest of supplies shopping was a blur because by then, Prepared Pepper had catapulted me to where I am now; and I won't be hopping back up on that High Horse anytime soon again.  In fact, I think I'll just stay right here: dizzy, dazed and confused.

**Many parents and caregivers in the community are having a tough time buying school clothes and supplies.  If you want to help them out, just dial "2-1-1" from your home phone or 414-773-0211 from your cell phone to find out where donations for these items are being accepted.**

I thought it was ironic that the whole Favre Saga was ramping up around back-to-school time...and it just got me thinking about the worth of expectations.

GG will enter K5 this fall, and I expect her teacher to relate to her as an individual with unique capabilities, and teach her in that manner.  I also expect that her teacher will maintain order in the class and encourage good behavior.  I expect GG's teacher to be attentive to her, while also being equally attentive to the other kids.  I expect that her teacher will put in whatever time is necessary to do a good job -- and I understand that this may mean workdays that exceed 8 hours.  I expect her teacher to have open communication with Jamie and me about GG's progress and challenges.  Finally, I'd certainly hope that GG's teacher will be a role model that all the kids look up to.  That's a pretty tall order, but isn't it close to what we, as parents, expect from teachers?  What about you parents sending your little ones off to daycare?  What are your expectations?  And what are our expectations worth?

Kindergarten schoolteachers' salaries start at a little over $27,000 and cap at a little over $52,000 depending upon experience, education and area of specialty.  Daycare providers' salaries start at about $17,500 and cap at around $24,000 depending upon experience, education and area of specialty.

So what expectations did Brett have to live up to?  What were they worth?  (Understand, this really isn't about Brett, I like the guy -- replace his name with any other sports figure if you want)  Anyway, the expectations were that he'd be in shape for the upcoming season, use that legendary arm, run fast, read plays well, and maybe even take us to the Super Bowl.  In 2007, these expectations were worth a cool $11 million; and then this year, he was offered $20 million to not meet those expectations.....both were a lot more than a teacher or daycare provider's salary at the top of their game.

Am I missing something here?....I don't know, I just wonder what kind of saga would play out if a teacher announced retirement or requested a transfer to a different school.  Would it make the headlines and cause the heartache like Brett's retirement-unretirement did?

I don't have a snappy bow to tie up this article; but as we begin the school year, I'd like to offer my sincerest, deepest thanks to all of the teachers and daycare providers who are living up to our high expectations even without the lure of a professional sports figure's hefty compensation.  Too often, they're the unsung heroes.  Many miss their own kids' first day of school because they're welcoming our kids on that day and even comforting the Nervous Nelly Parents among us.  Because we know our kids are safe with them, we can have peace of mind as we release our kids into their care.

I don't know about you, but that's priceless to me -- especially as a working mom.  And if it were up to me, the teachers and daycare providers would be the ones in the headlines because more often than not, they exceed the expectations we have of them.

If you have a special thank you to your teacher or childcare provider, or if you want to share what they mean to you and your family click on the comment button.  We can never say thank you enough to these special angels!