What Teachers Know

When my son Jack, who is now in kindergarten, was a bit younger he would occasionally start to sing:  "A, B, C, D..."  His voice would trail off.  He'd pick up the tune briefly, and then break off in frustration:  "E, F ...  Arrgggghhhhh!  I just don't get it!!!"

I was reminded of this recently when asked to tackle a question from a mom concerned that her four-and-a-half year old son still struggled to recognize the letters of the alphabet.

Her son, she reported, was very verbal and could carry on a conversation -- he spoke in complex sentences with a good vocabulary.  He could verbally spell his name.  But he couldn't correctly choose the letters from the magnets on the refrigerator to make his name.  Even when she worked with him on the letters, he had a difficult and frustrating time recognizing them.  She wondered what to do -- and whether his difficulties could be a sign of a developmental delay.

I, of course, turned to teacher Joan Rice, who weighed in with some great suggestions for helping children who struggle with letter recognition. I wanted to share those here, along with some other thoughts.  First, I wanted to share Joan's observation about the difficulty young can children have learning letters and their sounds.  Letters be tough, she noted, because some kids tend to see them as sort of random pictures, not connecting them to a sound or even a symbol.

• Have your child trace the letters in sand, salt, cornmeal, or sugar.  As he forms the letters, have him say the name of the letter as his finger swoops through the material.

• Try making the letters out of play dough or wikki stix (a waxy stick the comes in a kit of many color- they are reusable) Start by making the letters in his name, both capital and small.

• Put out 3-4 magnetic letters on the refrigerator.  Have your son face the refrigerator, looking at them.  On his back, draw one of the letters.  Ask him to name which one you made.  He can first point to the letter, then identify it by name. Have him do the same on your back.

• Make an alphabet book using labels from favorite food boxes or cans.  Put one alphabet letter on the top of a page of paper.  Staple the pages together.  Find boxes or cans of your child's favorite foods, cut out the word (along with picture symbol if necessary) and glue it to the correct alphabet page.  (The educational term for this is "environmental print")

• Label anything and everything in your house.  Make post it notes to put on the refrigerator, desk, chair, television, door, table, closet, fireplace, dog bowl, etc.  The more connection you can put between letters and objects, the better.

• Pull out the alphabet books.  The tried and true board books that children get as babies really do help- and can be made part of a nightly reading.  Your child can get to know one of these books so well that HE starts to read it to YOU.  If you don't yet have one,  make it a treat to choose one during your next library outing.

• Serve "alphabet soup" occasionally for dinner- put make it real letters instead!  In a small bowl next to each family member's plate, put 4-6 magnetic letters.  During dinner, have each member put in a spoon, take out a letter and tell what it is.  Move gradually to saying the sound of the letter and later to giving a word that starts with it.

Joan notes:  "With any lesson that I introduce to preschoolers, I like to keep in mind three "S's" of kid friendly learning:

• Short

• Simple

• A little bit Silly."

I'd also like to note that computer games can sometimes help interest children who have difficulty with their letters.  Here are a few good ones that teachers sometimes use in their classrooms:

A favorite website for letter and early reading skills  is www.starfall.com

Other good sites include:

 www.funbrain.com

www.funschool.com

Here are two links to interactive ABCs: 

www.kiddonet.com/gb/flash/phonics/Intro.html

www.poissonrouge.com/abc/index.htm

and don't forget the tried and true: www.pbskids.org

(for reading skills, especially the "Between the Lions" link)

And another thing that appealed to Jack was tackling letters as sort of a secret code that he had to break. He was much more interested in figuring out the letters that spelled "ICE CREAM" in the freezer aisle at the grocery store than in playing with the magnetic letters my daughter loves on the refrigerator.

Congratulations to the winners of our book giveaway -- Mrs. D, Dana and Gina (I'll be e-mailing you for mailing addresses).

All three moms submitted great questions that our teachers will be tackling over the next couple of weeks (and again via our new "Ask the Teacher" feature when our newly-designed web site debuts).

 From Gina: 

"My son does not like to color or draw.  ... He receives a sheet of homework Monday through Thursday and most of it has some coloring or drawing involved.  What can I do at home to encourage him to draw and/or color? He often rushes through or doesn't even try at all. He eventually gets it done, but it takes time.  Any suggestions for me?"

 I think this is a fantastic question -- probably because I have a kindergarten-age son who is much the same way!

 As I mentioned to Gina in an e-mail, my older daughter was perfectly happy to sit for a few minutes coloring carefully and my youngest daughter can sit for ages coloring things perfectly, and Jack ... he grabs a crayon, scribbles a mass of lines somewhere near the picture, and then happily moves on to something else without even looking back.  In preschool, when the teachers would hand parents the student's work, I'd get papers with a mass of scrawl marks on them (or sometimes just one or two haphazard lines!) while other parents were admiring their child's carefully-colored projects, sometimes even with the child's name carefully written on the back.   Hmmmm.

 I turned this first over to Joan Rice, my co-author for What Kindergarten Teachers Know and a former winner of the Betty Brinn Children's Museum Teacher of the Year. Here are a few of her ideas:

I would suggest moving away from the traditional coloring devices.  Markers and crayons aren't always conducive to small fingers and hands.
Suggestions:

-Purchase some inexpensive eyeshadows (the colors these days are unlimited- just go to the cheaper section (Bonnebell) or try the Dollar Store. 
Use q-tips or even finger tips to color.  This will certainly enhance the fine motor skills.

-Q-tips work great with paint (the kind in the sets) too.  Prange brand provides the most vivid colors with just a bit of water.

- Does he HAVE to DRAW the pictures?  Why not find pictures in magazines or even on a Kid's Graphics computer program.  Fine motor skills can involve the keys of a computer board as well, not to mention scissor skills.  There are guided scissors that have four holes so parents can cut along.  This may help with cutting frustration.

Scrapbook stores have stickers in everything imaginable.  Why not use stickers for some of the pictures?  A drawn tree with a sticker dog and cat next to it certainly would show evidence of dexterity.  Stickers are a great fine motor tool too.

-On larger assignments, WIKKI Sticks might be used to create pictures.  These stick to paper and can be cut to size.

-Crayola makes Twistables which are a nice alternative to pencils and crayons.  Perhaps investing in some non-traditional drawing and coloring items will be more enticing for him.  My kindergarten kids also LOVED smelly markers (and my third graders are always fighting over the bin)  The Mr. Smelly ones are the best and come in  sets of up to 12 scents. These are at The Learning Shop.  I always encouraged the kids to use at least three smells for every picture- they always wanted to use more!!

There are also smelly colored pencils out too.

...In the early grades, it's impossible to get away from the coloring or drawing.  But there are a lot of fun alternative to the monotony of crayons and markers!!!

 We'll come back to Gina's question with more suggestions, and tackle more questions as the week continues.

Lisa

 PS: I was featured on the Role Mommy site this week as a "Mom of Reinvention," if you're interested in reading the interview:

http://www.rolemommy.com/blog/moms-of-reinvention/meet-mom-of-reinventionauthor.php
 

PS: A reminder that tomorrow is the last day to submit questions for our "Ask the Teacher" book giveaway.  (You can read more details here.)  I've already received some great questions, but only about a half-dozen of them.  (If you'd like to enter the contest but can't think of a question you'd like to ask, you can just send me an e-mail at lisa@whatteachersknow.com saying something like:  I'd like to enter the giveaway, but don't have a question to ask yet!")  I'll continue taking questions through the end of the year, but the deadline for the book giveway is Friday, Oct. 17th.

 When Joan Rice, my co-author for What Kindergarten Teachers Know, and I do workshops or talks, we're always a bit amazed and impressed by the questions we get.  For instance, one time we were going on and on about good ways to help your young child "transition" when it's time to stop a project and move on to something else.  Well, wouldn't you know, a mom raised her hand a few minutes later with the opposite problem!  Her four-year-old son breezed through projects so quickly there was never any worry about moving on to something else -- she was looking for ways to immerse him more deeply into his work. 

 Of course, Joan had a ton of suggestions for her to help him extend his projects.  But it's striking how each kid brings something new to the table.

 And that's why we're starting a new feature over on our book website, www.WhatTeachersKnow.com.  It's called "Ask the Teacher," and it's a forum for parents to present questions or concerns about their young school age children and have them answered directly by some of the best early childhood teachers in the country.  (I'll also be presenting some of the questions and answers here on my blog, once the feature launches next month.)  In the meantime, we're looking for parents to submit their questions or concerns for consideration for the the column.  So, I'm asking for a little help.  If you have a question or concern you'd like us to address, or a topic you'd like to see covered, add a comment here or send me an e-mail (use the link on this page, or send to lisa@whatteachersknow.com). 

 The questions can be related to a certain problem you're encountering at home, for instance, activities you might do to help your five-year-old get along a little better with his three-year-old sister.  Or it could be school-related: your four-year-old is in a preschool program where the other kids seem a lot better at sitting still during circle time -- should you worry, and what might you do to help?

We'll consider all of the questions and suggestions. And we'll choose two people who respond at random to receive free copies of our book, What Kindergarten Teachers Know: Practical and Playful Ways for Parents to Help Children Listen, Learn and Cooperate at Home, signed by Joan and myself. 

Be sure to include an e-mail address on your comment or in your e-mail, so we know how to contact the winners for their mailing addresses.  We'll pick the winners next Friday, Oct. 17.

It’s that time of the new school year: kids who had been going to school happily suddenly start crying on their way to the classroom, little ones who were just a bit insecure are digging in their heels and begging not to go.

Milwaukee Moms blogger Niki Cairns wrote touchingly of her young daughter's struggle in a post earlier this week.  I’ve been seeing it this week at my children’s school as well: the little boy, walking reluctantly to the school doors and suddenly yanking his hand free from his mother’s, running through the parking lot to get back in his car. The little girl with her long golden hair pulled back in a headband, standing just outside her classroom door clutching her mother’s hands in hers, her face red from trying not to cry, the tears slipping down her cheeks.

And I’m not immune: my youngest daughter, at age 4, clings to me as I leave her classroom, and when I come back several hours later she’s always within arm’s length of her favorite teacher, often holding her hand. I got up my courage yesterday and asked the teacher how she seems to be adjusting. She paused. And then said: “She’s doing okay. It’s just that she’s so sad. I mean, it’s not like she cries the whole time or anything, but….”

Admittedly, not what I wanted to hear.

So what do we do? How do we bear it?

I can’t claim to have all the answers here. But I can tell you what really great early childhood teachers say about this, and share their suggestions for helping.

First, it’s very normal (even expected) for dropoff time to become more difficult a few weeks into the school year. And it will get better again. The first few days and week may have seemed like a novelty for your child, something new and exciting, and now that it’s becoming routine some new fears are surfacing.

Don’t be afraid to talk with your child about these. (I’ll write more about this in a later post.)

Reassure your child that you are coming back. One trick I learned while writing What Kindergarten Teachers Know that was remarkably useful was to mention something about the past, present and future when saying goodbye. “Those pancakes were delicious this morning! You have lots of fun at school today. You can tell me what you had for snacktime when I pick you up and we’re coloring together.”

This puts their day (and the school experience) into an important context.

Try to convey a sense of ease and confidence yourself. Young children pick up very easily on our signals, so try not to seem worried or scared. Be confident that your child can handle this. Know that she’s with a good teacher in a safe place. Convey that to her with your words and actions and body language. Try not to cling to her as you say your goodbyes.

It’s also very helpful to develop some sort of goodbye ritual (though I will warn you that these rituals aren’t a magical tool that will simply erase the tears and anxiety, as we’d like to hope). Some suggestions I love:

-Together with your child, make a “goodbye checklist” that you can keep in your wallet or pocket, “consulting” it as you say your goodbyes. “Did I give you a hug? Remind you I’ll be back later? Say goodbye?”

-Allow your child to bring something “special” of yours with her to school — this can be a fancy pin she pins to her coat before hanging it in her cubby, a picture of the family laminated and hung from the zipper of her backpack, a key she keeps in her jeans pocket. One mom who reviewed the book for her blog said she gave her daughter a fresh piece of the Trident gum the mom always chews; being allowed to “hold” this for mom eased some of the transition struggles. Be creative. Maybe your child even has some suggestions for this.

-Perhaps collect a rock each morning on the way to school, and then decorate it together after school. Collect these in a special “rock garden” and enjoy adding a new one each school day.

California kindergarten teachers Susie Haas, like many early childhood teachers, reads the book The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn to her incoming students and their parents. The tender book tells the story of a raccoon and how his mom kisses the palm of his hand each morning, so he can hold his hand near his heart when he’s missing her.

Susie told me a story about the book and her own sons, who were seven and ten at the time she started using the book in her classroom. Although the boys were a bit too old for regularly using goodbye rituals, Susie did use the ritual when they seemed especially anxious or scared. Then came the day her oldest son headed off to college. His car was packed to the brim. His mother stood in the garage, happy but sad, crying a bit as he left. And he stopped the car, came over to her and took her hand. He kissed her palm and told her they’d always be close.

Doesn’t that put the whole idea of goodbye rituals into context? We don’t always appreciate them when our child is still crying or clinging to us as we leave. But they’re powerful and meaningful and they do work, in ways we don’t always understand.

So, how about projects, games, creations or other activities that are too big or cumbersome for a Not Done pouch?

How about an “Out to Lunch” sign? Your child can hang it by his creation when it’s time to move on to another activity.

You similarly could make a large bookmark, showing your child how a bookmark is used to mark your place in a book so you can pick it up later at the same place. When it’s time to move on to something else, your child can simply place the bookmark on top of the project, signaling he plans to get back to it later.

Why go to all this trouble?

The reason is simple. As I noted in last week’s post, I first realized that early childhood teachers know wonderful secrets about keeping our kids on track when I was helping out in my daughter’s kindergarten classroom. When it was time to stop a project to move on to something else, the teacher directed the kids to put their unfinished work in their “Not Done Pouch.”

The idea behind this is that young children have a hard time switching gears; they often resist moving on to something else. In fact, transitions (or moving from one thing to the next) probably account for many of the most frustrating, overwhelming or confrontational parts of your day. If you’re able to gracefully handle transitions with your young child, your entire day will go much more smoothly!

In What Kindergarten Teachers Know, we identified three guiding principles behind how great early childhood teachers handle transitions in the classroom. And the first explains why techniques like the Not Done pouch or “Out to Lunch” sign work so wonderfully.

• Young children need clear endings and beginnings to activities.

By allowing your child to put her work in a “Not Done” pouch or hang an “Do Not Disturb” or “Out to Lunch” sign on an ongoing project, you’re giving her a clear signal that it’s time to end this activity. You’re also signaling the start of something new.

And just as importantly, you’re letting her know that there indeed will be time and opportunity to come back to this project that is important to her.

One of the fun things we write about in What Kindergarten Teachers Know is the “Not Done Pouch.” It’s an idea inspired by my co-author’s classroom. And it shows how simple, fun and do-able some of the tricks used in great early childhood classrooms can be for us parents at home.

A little background: My oldest daughter was a student in Joan Rice’s kindergarten classroom when I realized that the magic Mrs. Rice worked with her students might translate into tricks I could use at home to make my own day run more smoothly. The most striking example for me was also among the simplest: When it was time to move on to a new activity, Mrs. Rice directed the kids who hadn’t finished yet to put their work in their “Not Done Pouch" before giving her instructions for the next activity.

Too often at home, my own directions to stop a project and move on to something else (meals, errands, bedtime, whatever) were met with protests, whining or dawdling. And I always imagined that was because I wasn’t giving my instructions firmly enough. But standing in Mrs. Rice's  kindergarten classroom, watching how willingly her students cooperated, it suddenly struck me that my daughter didn’t need a firmer instruction to stop — she needed an honest acknowledgment that she wasn’t yet done with her work, and an understanding that she’d be able to come back to it later.

The Not-Done Pouch. Surely I could do that at home.

Above is an example of a “not-done pouch” I made recently for my son, who is five years old and starting kindergarten.

And here’s an example of a routine chart I made for him to start establishing his own morning routine

These examples are somewhat "crafty" (though quite simple; you can use whatever paper and stickers you might have around from other projects).  But you can create these in whatever way suits you and your family and use them accordingly:  tacked to a bulletin board, attached with magnets to the refrigerator or hung in the front hallway. Just have fun with it, and be sure to explain the tools to your child before you start using them.

We received a letter over the weekend, addressed to my four-year-old daughter, Lucille, in an envelope from Children's Hospital of Wisconsin.  It's not that unusual for Lucy to get mail from Children's especially this time of year, just before Al's Run (I mean: Briggs & Al's Run & Walk).

Lucy had heart surgery there when she was two. Because she obviously spent some time in Children's intensive care unit, she is one of the Children's Champions for the event, one of the kids who puts a face to the  race for all of the runners and walkers out there raising money for the hospital.  

The thing that was different about this letter was it was from former Marquette University basketball coach Tom Crean and his wife, Joani, who in years past served as grand marshals for the walk. Last year (our first doing the walk, one year after Lucy's surgery), I was so impressed with how much time and attention the pair gave to the children before the race.  Mrs. Crean, especially, was so warm and attentive and kind.  They seemed to really enjoy being there, and in a crazy, crowded atmosphere, they still managed to make every child who approached them feel special. I almost sent them a letter after the race, I was so touched.

The letter Lucy and other Children's Champions received recently confirmed my impressions of the pair.  The Creans won't be grand marshaling Al's Run this year; coach Crean left Marquette and recently signed a contract with Indiana University. 

"Even though we have moved to coach at Indiana University and live in Bloomington, Indiana, please always remember that you are in our hearts, our thoughts and most importantly our prayers," they wrote.  "We will always appreciate the courage, passion and toughness you live your life with.  Please always consider us your friends and, as happens, sometimes friends move away from each other, but their feelings never change."

I don't follow college basketball and I'm not "into" the Milwaukee political scene, so I have no clue if there's a behind-the-scenes story about coach Crean's departure or his relationship with Children's and Al's Run.  I do know he and his wife certainly didn't have to send any child a letter, and their decision to do so, and the spirit with which it was written, shows such class, compassion and love.

I urge all of you to check out some of the stories behind the people who will be raising money for Children's on Sept. 20th.  You can visit their fundraising pages at the FirstGiving website; this link will take you to a page where you can see the fundraising pages and read the stories of some of the top pledge-getters (just click on the pictures in the upper-right hand corner, use the arrows to see more).  But before you click, have a box of tissues ready. Their stories and courage will touch you, I'm certain.

(I do want to acknowledge that I know my share of people who have their complaints about Children's, sometimes related to an aspect of treatment they received there or another issue.  Personally, I have to say their "Big or Small We Do it All" marketing campaign has driven me a bit nutso.  Especially the "dad" in a radio spot who is about to take his child in for a bee sting or minor burn or something and incredulously says -- I'm paraphrasing here -- "Gosh, I thought Children's was only for, you know, kids who need, like, heart surgery or something."  That one really gets under my skin. But the fact remains that we're incredibly lucky to have this institution here, and it's almost impossible to truly appreciate the number of lives they have touched and transformed.)

So visit the FirstGiving site and the Al's Run site linked here, where you can read more stories.  I hope you will consider making a donation if you're not already walking or running or volunteering or otherwise helping the cause.  In the words of the Crean's, from their letter:  "As coaches, we are always looking to find examples to show our team of what courage, passion and toughness look like. ...  All we had to do is look at the Children's Champions of Children's Hospital of Wisconsin to show how all of you have been able to overcome so many obstacles to grow up and get well."

My 5-year-old son started kindergarten this week, and I find my brain stuck on the day four years ago that his oldest sister went off to kindergarten.  One of our cherished pictures from that day is of Jack, wanting to join Maya on her adventure but stuck at home, clutching his shoes behind the backyard gate, tears running down his cheeks.

Now, at last, it’s his turn, and he heads off in the morning with his backpack and lunch, giving me a grin and a wave as he heads into his classroom.  This morning, he even looked back and added a thoughtful reassurance of his own:  “Have a good day, Momma!”

So I join you, here at the Milwaukee Moms’ “Kitchen Table” as a fellow parent, one with three children (ages nine, five and four) and all of the accompanying joys and frustrations, the tender memories and nagging worries.

I’m also a former Associated Press reporter and the co-author of a book published this spring by Penguin books, called What Kindergarten Teachers Know: Practical and Playful Ways to Help Your Child Listen, Learn and Cooperate at Home.  I co-wrote this with my oldest daughter’s kindergarten teacher, a former Betty Brinn Children's Museum Teacher of the Year, Joan Rice. I got the idea, of course, while helping out in Maya's classroom and marveling at how well Mrs. Rice kept the large group of children on track, behaving and learning. Watching her, I realized she was working a kind of magic, that there were secrets to be learned here. And so the book does just that --  based on interviews with award-winning early childhood teachers, it looks at the simple tricks and techniques used in the nations' best classrooms, explains why they work and then adapts them for parents of three- to six-year-olds to use at home. It's a fun and practical book -- and since I wrote it with my own preschoolers at my feet, I can say the tricks really do work!

At some point down the road, this blog will link directly to the blog I write at our website, www.WhatTeachersKnow.com.  But first I wanted to take some time to tell you more about myself and the book and hear back from some of you about your own questions and concerns. So I'll be posting a batch of "introductory" blogs here before linking and I'll be adding extra posts here from time to time as well.  In the meantime, feel free to take a peek at the What Kindergarten Teachers Know site and blog, learn more about us and get back to me with your thoughts and questions.

I'll be right here, at the Kitchen Table, trying to get some work done while wondering how Jack's day is going in kindergarten.